Promises had Broken
by borntodanceninefour
Summary: New Moon AU: When we fall down, sometimes, its best to pick ourselves up and move on, however hard it may be. 2 years after Edward leaves, this is what Bella is doing as she begins college. Only problem is... why does that TA look so familiar? Uh-oh.
1. Chapter 1

**This story takes places two years after the beginning of New Moon. Edward never came back, and Jacob stopped Bella from jumping off the cliff.**

**Thanks to **_Smileazf_** for being THE best beta ever!!**

**Disclaimer: If only I were Stephenie Meyer… then my life would be perfect!**

First day of college. _Oh, boy_, I thought sarcastically. What should have been one of the best days of my life was no different than any in the past 2 years. And it was all _his _fault. I couldn't even say his name… it was too painful.

After _he_ left me, I became a complete mess. I was catatonic for the first four months ― my life was on autopilot. I basically ate, slept, and went to school ― not even talking unless I was spoken to first.

And then I met Jacob. He became my life support, my personal sun. When I was with him, I could forget some of my pain. But not all of it ― it was always there waiting to tear at me and break me apart the moment I left his presence.

That day at the cliffs, Jacob had been the one to come and stop me from jumping. He had pulled me into his warm embrace and had let me cry myself out as long as I needed.

I realized how stupid I had been for even wanting to jump in the first place. I was so selfish. What if something had happened to me? Charlie would have been left all alone… and it would have been all my fault! Especially since there were much more important things to worry about that day. That had been the day that Harry Clearwater had passed away… and I had been ready to jump off a cliff.

What did I expect to happen? Did I expect the voice in my head to come alive? Was _he _going to come save me? NO! Just because I would have jumped did not mean I would ever see him again. Plus, he had made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me. Even if I had jumped, it's not like he would have cared in the slightest. And it's also not like he ever would have known what had happened.

That night, after Jacob had saved me from whatever consequences my actions could have brought around, I was so grateful to him. He really did love me, unlike some other people I did not want to think about. And so what if I didn't love Jacob as much as he loved me? No matter how much time would pass, I knew I would never have all of my heart to give. _He_ had taken a big chunk out of my heart that would never be whole again.

But that didn't mean I couldn't give what was left of it. I deserved some happiness of my own, no matter how small a victory it was. Edward was probably off enjoying one of his new "distractions." He was probably with some new girl he actually loved ― kissing _her_, watching _her_ sleep, telling _her_ how much he loved her...

No… he wasn't watching her sleep, I decided. She was probably one of his kind. He wouldn't want to deal with another human like me. They were probably off right now, kissing without hesitation… sharing careful touches and whispered secrets… making love ― No! I had to stop myself from thinking about _him_ like that, from wishing I could be that girl.

Because I knew the truth: Even if I was a vampire, we still wouldn't be together, because _he _didn't love me. He probably never had. I was just another "distraction" for him.

I thought back again on that night with Jacob, after he had brought me back to his house. I had decided the moment he grabbed me into his arms after pulling me back that I would return as much love to him as I could. He was a good kid, he deserved it.

I had decided I was going to try to live my life to the fullest, no matter how broken it would be. I would never see the other half of my heart again ― and I would just have to deal with that and try to move on.

With that knowledge fresh on my mind, I had told Jacob I wanted to sleep with him. He was ecstatic… but he wanted to make sure I was positive about what I was doing. I had told him I was sure, that I wanted to move on from _him_.

Of course, all through it I was wishing the warm arms that surrounded me were the cold ones I longed for. We had had to stop halfway through because I couldn't stop the tears from coming.

That was the first and last time I had had sex. I realized then that I would never ― _could never_ ― get over my first love. It was also then that I realized the rest of my life would suck, but that I would have to make it through for those that I loved.

And here I was, a year and six months later, trying to make it through life. With much prodding from both Charlie and Jacob ― who had understood my situation and hadn't pressed me romantically after that night, settling instead for being the best friend he could be ― I had decided to go to college. I had decided to take a year off first, though. I knew it was too soon to take such a big step.

After applying to a couple of places― and receiving back a few acceptions― I had settled on University of Rochester, in New York. The weather there was not much better than that of Forks, but I supposed that was one of the draws. It made me feel almost like I was at home, without having to actually be there and see the reminders of what life with _him_ had been like.

I had driven here in my new Honda accord, a graduation present from Charlie after my truck had died of old age. Charlie was in the passenger seat right now, while Jacob had dozed off in the backseat. Jake had insisted on accompanying me so he could "help get all the heavy furniture set up in my room."

Funny thing was, I wasn't actually bringing any big furniture with me from forks, apart from my nightstand and tiny bookshelf to house my many favorite classics. I think Jake was just upset because he would only be able to see me a few times a year now. Plane tickets were really expensive and driving took a few days, so I could only visit him once or twice this year.

We were pulling up to my dorm building now, and I took a minute to look around at the next step of my life.

**So tell me what you guys think of this so far! Comments, suggestions, and criticism are welcome! Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**So this story kind of came to me last week, and I tried to ignore it because I was in the middle of an HU-GE honors bio test when it popped into my head. (Haha Lexi… I know I failed! XD) But as most of you know, when a story comes to you, it doesn't leave you alone. At all. So I spent a few days with this developing in my head so much that I had the first three chapters memorized. And then, I wrote it all out for you guys to enjoy (and review P).**

**Thanks to my beta/ best friend/ pint-sized wonder : **_Smileazf _**(A.K.A. Sexi Lexi :D)**

**Disclaimer: When I grow up, I wanna be famous. I wanna be a star; I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world. Drive nice cars; I wanna… be Stephenie Meyer…? Oh yeah!**

My roommate, Amber, was actually pretty nice. She was from Long Island and had also taken a year off between high school and college. She was really pretty, too. She had long, pin-straight blond hair. She had piercing green eyes, the same color _his _must have been before he was changed. I shooed away the thought, trying to keep myself from breaking apart. I didn't want to scare off Amber on the first day I met her.

We started talking about our interests, and I found out that she, too, was majoring in English. Apparently, we were both in the same Freshman English Studies class. The same class that would begin tomorrow.

After I had said my goodbyes and I love you's to Charlie and Jacob, ― and had promised them I would call at least twice a week ― I settled down with my new laptop (a graduation gift from Renée and Phil) to look once again at my class schedule.

I was taking four courses this semester: Freshman English Studies, Freshman Psych, Freshman Biology, and World Relations. Tomorrow, I had just Freshman English Studies, at 11:00.

After I finished looking over my schedule yet again, I had nothing to do. I talked to Amber about random topics for about an hour, and then it was seven. I was exhausted from the previous days' drive, so I just took a shower and crawled into bed.

That night, I dreamed of _him_ again. This was nothing new, him showing up in my dreams. But this time, it seemed clearer.

_I could see every plane of his face, every muscle that showed through his white button up shirt. The same white button up that he was now unbuttoning. He walked closer to me and put his hand around my waist, drawing me closer to his cold, marble body. I slid my hands up and down his bare chest, marveling at the feel of him beneath my skin._

_Slowly, ever so slowly, he brought his lips to mine. What began as a chaste kiss quickly became much less guarded. He was passing every boundary he had ever set for himself. I felt his hands gliding up and down my sides. His tongue traced my lips, attempting to gain access to my mouth. I allowed it, and slipped mine between his lips, too. He let out a little moan._

_He slowly began moving his mouth down my jaw. He kissed his way down to my collarbone, and let his lips linger there. _

"_Bella," he murmured against my skin. "I love you. I never should have left you. You're my world, my heart, my everything. I have something else to tell you, Bella. That day that I left you…"_

_**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**_

I was brought out of my peaceful sleep by the incessant ringing of my little red alarm clock. Darn! And I was just getting to the good part. In my dreams, I could pretend he was still here. I could pretend he stilled loved me, that he had ever loved me.

I slipped my hand out from beneath my covers and felt along my nightstand until I found what I was looking for. My fingers slammed down on the off button of my alarm and I brought the little red contraption up to my face. 10:00 AM. Oh great.

I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stood up. There was a note from Amber taped to the door:

_Good morning sleepyhead. I figured I'd let you catch a few more z's before we have class today. I'm off to grab us some coffee and bagels. Be back in a few._

What had I done to deserve such a great roommate?

Luckily, I had been fortunate enough to get a dorm with bathrooms ― albeit very small ones ― in the actual dorm rooms. I jumped in the shower and quickly washed myself off. When I got out, I toweled off my hair and threw on an outfit. I was wearing a pair of light wash blue jeans and a pink and brown striped sweater.

By the time I reemerged into the room, Amber was already sitting on her bed, a bag of bagels in her hand and two cups of coffee on her bedside table.

"Thanks for getting us breakfast, Amber." I was so grateful to have a roommate like her. "You know you didn't have to do that for me."

"Yeah, but Bella, we're roommates now. I like doing things for you. Plus, I know you'd do the same for me." She was right. I would want to help her out, too. She was a really nice person. She kind of reminded me of Angela.

We ate quickly and began walking to our class. The building was all the way across campus, so it gave us some time to talk.

"I heard," Amber began, "that the TA is gorgeous. And he looks super young, too. Of course, he's 'off limits' says the administration, but they don't ever have to know." She giggled.

I forced a smile onto my lips, but I could tell it didn't reach my eyes. Hopefully, Amber hadn't noticed.

I knew that the only guy I would ever find attractive was _him._ But I knew I would have to pretend when we got to class if this TA was really as 'good looking' as Amber claimed. Everyone would think something was up with me if I was the only girl not fawning over a hot, young, off-limits guy.

When we got to the door of the classroom, half the seats were already filled. We found two seats next to each other towards the front of the room. I heard some girls giggling and pointing, and I followed their gaze to the TA sitting in a chair behind the professor's desk.

His back was turned to us so I couldn't see his face. I wasn't sure if it was true or maybe my conscious was trying to show me what I wanted to see, but the guy's hair was almost the exact same color as _his._

"Ooo, there he is!" Amber chuckled. The girls next to us looked over. They offered us a smile.

"Apparently, the professor is sick today. So the TA gets to teach us today," offered a short but cute brunette girl.

"Score!" joked the blonde next to her.

By then the classroom was completely filled. All we were waiting for was the TA. For some reason, he hadn't turned around yet.

I heard a few annoyed coughs from the back of the room, and one guy even had the nerve to say, "Any day now."

The TA began to turn around slowly. His fists were clenched so tight it looked like his bones would pop out of his pale white skin― WAIT A MINUTE! The hair, the skin, the reluctance to turn around.

_Oh, god!_ I thought. But no… I was probably wrong. What was the chance that _he_ would show up here; at _my _college, in _my _classroom?

He was still turning around. I waited with baited breath for him to face the classroom. Surely, this couldn't be him.

But when I saw those liquid gold eyes, I knew it. He was here, teaching my class.

I managed to choke out one whisper before my face made contact with the floor.

"_Edward_."

**Song for this chapter: **_I'd lie_** by **_Taylor Swift_**.**

**I couldn't resist giving her the outfit she was wearing. I just bought the same sweater from H&M yesterday. I'm going to wear it to school tomorrow. XD. I tried to find a link for you guys, but I couldn't find it. ):**

**I'm not sure if some colleges actually have bathrooms in their dorm rooms, but for the purposes of this story, the University of Rochester does. D**

**Sorry if the college scheduling is wrong. I'm only a freshman in high school, and Google doesn't exactly have the best examples to go by. Feel free to make fun of my attempts at college life. But do it in a review XD. And, hey, you could also just review to give me: criticism**


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter was supposed to be part of the last chapter, but it would have been WAY too long

**This chapter was supposed to be part of the last chapter, but it would have been WAY too long.**

**Disclaimer: I'm so awesome that I don't need a disclaimer that tells everyone that I'm not Stephenie Meyer…**

EPOV:

I had just received a call from the professor telling me that he would be out sick today. That meant that I was in charge of teaching the 50 or so kids that ― physically ― were actually older than me.

I didn't want to be here at the University of Rochester, being a TA in Freshman English. If it were up to me, I'd be back in that hovel in Brazil, wasting away, trying to forget my memories.

But instead, I was here. I was only doing this for family, though.

Two years ago, after I had left my Bella, the love of my life and the reason for my existence, I had crawled away to an attic in Brazil, only hunting about once a month or so. Unfortunately, Emmett came and dragged me back into civilization, back to my family.

Even without my mind-reading power, I could tell what our leaving Forks had done to them. Our family was falling apart. I could also see the glares my siblings gave me when they thought I wasn't looking. They thought I should go back to Bella, to stay with her and change her.

I could never do that to her. She deserved to have a happy, normal human life away from my family. All we ever did was get her into more danger.

And so what if my life had no meaning now? I had to stay alive for my family. If I left them again, we were sure to fall apart completely. For some sickly ironic reason, me being here with them ― even all depressed as I was ― was somehow better than me being away from them.

Now, the only thing that got me through the day was knowing that my love was off enjoying her life, being a normal, happy, carefree teenager. I had stayed with my family for them, because I wanted them to have a normal ― well as normal as possible for a family of vampires ― life.

And to make my father happy, I had come to the University of Rochester for graduate school and became a TA.

I was brought out of my thoughts and back to reality when I came to the door of the classroom. I took out my keys and let myself in. I walked over to the big desk in the right corner of the room to wait for the students to arrive.

One by one they trickled in and began to take their seats. I told a few of them that I would be teaching their class today and told them to spread the word.

The classroom was about halfway filled when I smelled it. The smell of freesias, and strawberry shampoo. _No_, I thought to myself. This was not possible. Only one person had ever smelled so beautiful… and that person was on the other side of the country, enjoying a normal, vampire-free existence. So no, there was no way that Bella would walk into my room right now.

I shook my head to stop the torrent of memories from flooding back in. Not here, not in front of all of these students― I would not let myself remember Bella.

As the scent of freesia and strawberries grew stronger, my nerves were stretched tighter and tighter. When the scent was right outside the door, I smelled something else along with it.

Her blood called to me like no other had ever before, igniting flames within my throat. I ignored the fire burning in my throat, instead letting her scent wash over me, breathing it in greedily.

_Impossible._ Why, of all the colleges in America ― in the _world_, even ― did Bella have to choose the University of Rochester? And what were the chances that she'd end up in _my_ English class?

I had promised Bella she would never see me again after that day in the woods. I couldn't break that promise now. I looked around the room quickly, my eyes scanning for a way out. The students gave me a funny look, and I knew I couldn't leave now without being too conspicuous.

I heard her walk into the room, following the footsteps of another. I quickly turned my body to face the board in the front of the room.

So it seemed that today would not be the reunion my family had hoped for. No, she would likely not even want to talk to me anymore. She had probably already forgotten me, maybe even a few weeks after I had left her.

It wasn't possible for anyone to love someone as much as I had loved her, though she insisted she had felt these feelings for me, too. But I knew this wasn't possible; I was a monster, and would be one forever.

She probably had a boyfriend by now. Maybe she had gotten together with that Mike Newton kid that had wanted her so much. I could feel my muscles stiffen and my fists clench at this thought.

But why should I be mad, though? Hadn't I wanted her life to move on? Hadn't I wished that she would find someone else and have kids with them and grow old with them? Two things I could never do.

I listened for the sound of her soft footsteps that I had memorized. She was in her seat by now.

I battled with my conscious in my mind. No, I couldn't let her see me now, not after all this time. But how to leave a room full of students who were all expecting you to teach them?

And then it came to me. It wouldn't matter if she saw me now. She had moved on with her life, and I was probably just a long-forgotten memory, a stupid mistake of her youth.

I began turning around slowly, keeping my fists balled up at my sides. It was the only thing stopping me from running up to her and locking her in a passionate kiss. Because that could never happen again. I had lost her, and now she was someone else's.

I faced the room and avoided her gaze, instead opting for looking at the wall in the back of the room.

I stole a look at her from the corner of my eye. She looked great. She had developed curves in all the right places. She was wearing a tight pink and brown sweater that greatly accentuated these curves. My hands clenched tighter as I fought back all the instincts within me.

Apart from the filling out of her womanhood, not much was different about her. She could probably still pass for sixteen.

My eyes grazed over her body hungrily, lingering right below her neck. I looked away quickly to gain control of myself.

But I was still conscious enough of her movement to notice when she began to sway. I heard her whisper my name, and then watched in horror as she collapsed on the floor. I froze where I was as the students began to swarm around her unconscious form.

**BPOV:**

When I came to, I was surrounded by concerned faces. I looked around at the many unfamiliar faces, searching for the golden eyes I had come to love.

I couldn't find those liquid topaz oceans. They weren't among the many peering faces. But why should they be? Why should I have expected him to care about me? He had made it clear when he had left me that he didn't love me anymore, that he didn't care about me.

Amber reached into the circle around me and helped pull me to my feet. She immediately pushed me back into a seat, though.

Everyone began speaking at once.

"Are you okay?" "What happened?" "Should we call a doctor?" "Is she talking yet?" "Why isn't the teacher doing anything about this?"

I had to wonder at that last one, too. Sure, _Edward_ ― now that he was actually here, and real, I could say his name ― didn't care about me anymore, but that didn't mean he had to completely ignore me.

I took a deep breath, "I'm fine. I just need some air. I was just a bit light headed."

"You may leave the classroom if you'd like Ms…" He trailed off as if he wasn't sure what my name was. His voice was like hearing the lyrics to your old favorite song 10 years later; forgotten, but you still remembered the music perfectly. I let the sound wash over me and kept silent.

"Swan," Amber supplied for me, "Bella Swan."

"Ms. Swan, you may leave if you'd like to go back to your dorm and rest for a bit." I just sat there dumbfounded until I felt Amber gently pulling me out of the chair.

"Bella," she whispered, "I think you should go lie down. I'll come check on you when class is over." I just nodded silently and made my way down the aisle, turning red from all the stares directed at me.

I didn't look up at him as I passed his desk. I just kept my eyes on the door ahead, not trusting my emotions.

I managed to make it out of the classroom in one piece, and took my time walking back to my dorm building.

As soon as I got to my room, I slipped into bed, ignoring the fact that my clothes and shoes were still on.

I just buried my face in my pillow and let free all the tears I had kept inside for so long. It felt as if they would never stop. I would probably drown in them, and I didn't even care.

**Song for this chapter: **_Bottom of the ocean _**by **_Miley Cyrus_

**Please don't kill me because of the song… it's actually a **_really, really_** good song. **

**This chapter was pretty fun to write. I hope it's just as fun to read. Please review! I've had over 120 hits for the first two chapters, yet just 1 review. Come on people! I don't care what you write in the review, just please do review! Plus, it helps me write faster, which means more chapters for you guys. XD**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (: **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi again everybody! Thanks so much for all the reviews I've received! They really inspire me and make me feel great. (God, I sound like a loser… "and they make me all warm and fuzzy inside." XD) Anyway, I'd just like to tell you all how much I appreciate you guys!**

**A special thanks goes out to my beta/ ninja-turtle : **_Smileazf_**. She is always there for me… even when I make her late to class when I stop her in the hallway to talk about Twilight and my fanfics. (:**

**Disclaimer: I'm so cool that Stephenie Meyer has to make a disclaimer saying that **_**she**_** isn't **_**me**_**. XD**

* * *

Edward POV:

The rest of that class was utterly torturous. I kept glancing at the clock, only to realize that merely 1 or 2 minutes had passed since the last time I had looked over.

It was perhaps the most awful, anxiety- filled two hours of my existence. I could hear the big hand at the clock, ticking away slower than I thought was possible.

It felt like the clock was purposely moving slowly, trying to test my waning patience. I just knew the numbers were glaring back at me, waiting for me to snap.

Part of my mind was back here in this seemingly eternal torture, while the main part ― the most important part ― was wondering about my Bella… _No_! Not _my_ Bella… not anymore. I had given that up when I had walked away from her that day in the woods.

As my voice droned on about boring literature, I allowed my mind to wander back to that fateful day. That was the day I had uttered the blackest kind of blasphemy. I had told the love of my life that I didn't want her anymore.

I was surprised at how she took my words for truth so fast ― I had expected her to argue back at me for a bit. How had she believed me so quickly after all those times I had tried to convince her of my love? I didn't know how those few words could go against all the times I had spoken my love to Bella.

I tried to keep myself in the classroom; I restrained myself from running after Bella as I so wished I could.

The number one thing holding me back, ―apart from the fact that I was standing in front of a group of students who would surely not believe me if I asked to excuse myself to run after my student who was supposedly younger than me but really older than me who had really fainted at the sight of seeing me, her vampire ex-boyfriend, two years after I left her crying in a forest― was the fact that I didn't even know how Bella would react to me.

If her previous performance in any way shadowed her feelings towards me currently, then I was clearly not on the top of her list of favorite people…

But why should I be? I had left her ―however much it had hurt me. But still… I had left her. It was surely the biggest mistake of my life, but that did not change the fact that what I had done was wrong.

If I could go back in time, I would go back in a second. I would go back to that day in the woods and grab Bella into the biggest embrace I could muster without injuring her. I would never let her go…

_I_ would never go.

And what about how I had dealt with her before when she had fainted? I had just stood here, ― frozen― watching as the students surrounded her and helped her. Sure, I had wanted to go to her. But if I had, there would have been no way for me to show any restraint. I would have crushed my lips to hers like I never had done before.

And if I had done that… would she have wanted that?

I knew that I loved her more than my own life, more than the entire universe ― but did she feel the same for me? I know she used claim she loved me… but what now?

What if she hadn't wanted me to have touched her, let alone kiss her. She probably didn't want me anywhere near her.

I thought back to my previous notion… what if she had a boyfriend now? My hands clenched once again at the thought. What if she was happy in her life now ― and I had just come around and shattered that today.

But no, I would not have shattered her now peaceful life. This was definitely for sure. For if her life was as great as I had left her in hopes for, then nothing ― not even my reappearance after all this time ― could tamper with that.

Except… what about that expression on her face before when she had first caught a glimpse of my face?

It hadn't seemed angry. Surprised ― definitely. Hurt… maybe. Upset, probably. But there had been something else there. A ghost of an expression that was once so familiar on her beautiful face.

This was the expression she had worn so often right before she had kissed me. The same expression on her face whenever she had told me she loved me.

Could this be possible now? Could she still have feelings for me? Had she been as scared reckless, yet still hopeful, when she had seen me today? Did she still love me…?

But, no. That door had closed long ago. She had a happy, normal life now; she was away from vampires and the immortal world. And most importantly: she was away from a boyfriend who longed for her blood and whose presence put her in constant danger.

My internal arguments were brought to a halt by the ending of class. I quickly grabbed up all my belongings and rushed out the door.

I could hear the thoughts of the students wondering what was wrong with their new teaching assistant and why he was in such a hurry to leave.

I had no time to worry about what they were thinking now. I had to go― right now.

_I had to go talk to my family._

* * *

**Song for this chapter: **_Thunder_** by **_Boys like Girls_

**I was surprised by the fact that I knew the difference between the hands of the clock when I wrote this. This is coming from the 14 year old who still can't tell time unless she's looking at a digital clock. (Thank GOD my alarm is digital or I'd probably end up waking up sometime around 3 each morning… 'cept that's generally when I fall asleep.) XD.**

**Anywho, please review! (Teehee that rhymed!) Reviews to me are like Botox to my crazy next door neighbor― they keep me smiling. :D **

**XxXoOo,**

**Michelle P**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry that it took so long for this update. I've had a very hectic week. I'd just like to thank you all for the amazing reviews I've received, and for the favorites and alerts. You guys rock!**

**I'm now beta-ing for Miss Vampire Freak. Check out her amazing stories! This chapter's for you, Hannah! (:**

**Thanks to **_Smileazf _**for beta-ing like no other. XD**

**Disclaimer: The shooting star I wished upon chose not to grant my wish to become Stephenie Meyer… so unfortunately, these amazing characters still don't belong to me. )':**

* * *

Bella's POV:

I cried myself to sleep before Amber had come back to the room. When I woke up, a dim light came through the window next to my bed, a tell-tale sign of a cloudy day. I rolled over to look at my alarm clock: 6:30 A.M.

Oh. So that's why the light coming through the window was so diffused. I must have slept all through the rest of the day and the night yesterday.

I stretched out slowly, testing my stiff body to seeing it's willingness to comply. I had slept so long that there was no way that I could fall back asleep now, so I threw my legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

Big mistake.

I hadn't moved for so long that I immediately fell backwards back onto the mattress. I tried again, ― slowly this time ― and was successful in my efforts.

I looked down at myself. I was still wearing my outfit from yesterday, though it was crinkled beyond recognition. I kicked off my shoes and used my foot to push them half under the bed.

I grabbed a change of clothes from the little dresser across from my bed and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water felt so good against my skin, easing my sore muscles.

In the shower I could let my mind go blank and think about nothing― which was exactly what I needed right now. After a good half an hour more, I turned the water off and stepped out onto the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror that hung on the wall above the sink. My chocolate brown eyes were a bit red from all the crying, but they were no longer puffy. My damp, limp hair hung in a tangled mess that ended a few inches beneath my breasts. My pale ivory skin was covered in tiny bruises from the impact with the floor the day before. I had deep, heavy bags under each eye. I heaved a sigh, watching the way my chest moved as the air passed through it.

I toweled off and brushed my hair and teeth. I pulled my new set of clothes up off the floor from the pile I had left them in beside the door, and changed into my clothing for the day ― a simple flowing yellow baby doll shirt and a pair of dark wash capri jeans.

I walked back into the bedroom and plopped down on my bed, leaning back against the headboard and bringing my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my arms my legs and sighed.

I let my mind drift back to Edward― which was often not a very good thing to do. I had found that after seeing him, saying his name was not quite as hard now. I began absently tracing the upraised half crescent mark on the back of my hand, the symbol of a vampire bite.

I had taken to doing this often during the last two years. Whenever I felt I was in anger of forgetting those amazing six months, of forgetting him. Whenever I felt like maybe none of it had really happened― maybe my mind had made the whole thing up. Because though he could take away my pictures and my CD, Edward could never take away the constant reminder on my hand of James's almost successful attempt to take my life. Because although I didn't want his memory to rule my life forever, I didn't want to forget our time together, either.

I looked back at the clock; it was 8:00 now. Sunlight streamed through my window, now untainted by the time of day. I didn't know how to feel about his― in the end I settled for bittersweet.

Bitter because the sun meant I wouldn't see Edward today― and sweet for the same reason.

And then shocked as a new thought crossed my mind.

What made me think Edward would have even been here today if it _wasn't_ cloudy? He had probably left right after class to go meet his family and tell them that he'd seen his annoying ex again; they were probably halfway to Ronkonkoma by now.

I wasn't sure what to feel about this new ― but surely correct ―development. He didn't want me back― that much had been apparent with his actions. But was he happy to see me? I mean, after the initial shock wore off and everything….

No― of course he wasn't. Who wants to see their ex-girlfriend again two years later? Especially when you're their new teaching assistant.

Plus, if he had been at all happy to see me, he wouldn't have left again ― which I was sure he had done immediately after seeing me.

I cringed at the thought.

I heard a rustling noise and looked over to see Amber sitting up in bed groggily.

"Oh, hey," she said, her voice heavy with sleep, "you're awake."

"Yeah, I just woke up half an hour ago," I lied smoothly― I had gotten better at it after spending all that time putting on a false front, pretending to be okay. "I just took a shower."

"You fell asleep yesterday before I got back. I didn't want to wake you. Sorry."

What was she apologizing for? It was actually for the better that she had decided not to interrupt my restless sleep― she probably wouldn't have liked what she would have found: Me, with a tear-stained face, thinking and mumbling incoherently.

"Thanks," was all I could think to mutter back.

"What _was_ that yesterday? One minute, we're discussing the super hot TA― the next, you're keeled over on the floor."

"Um…," I began unsteadily, hoping my erratic emotions didn't show through my carefully calm façade. I was surprised that she hadn't noticed my heartbeat yet; the unrelenting sound was pounding in my ears, a painful reminder of the recent events.

"I don't think I had enough to drink yesterday, and the classroom was a bit warm. So I guess the combination of both of those led to…" I trailed off; I'm sure she knew all too well what those had led to.

Amber nodded. "That teaching assistant did not handle the situation very well, did he?"

I shook my head slowly, trying to keep myself in the present, forbidding my mind to remember yesterday's incident for fear of another breakdown. I'd wait until my roommate was safely away from the premises before I would have another little episode like when I had gotten back yesterday.

"Well, either way, he's still gorgeous." Like that made up for the fact that he had stood watching ― doing nothing ― when a student fainted in his class. Then again, I guess he was fairly used to me fainting. I chuckled darkly at this fact, covering it up with a cough.

Amber looked at me curiously before continuing. "Do you think he's the type to go for students?"

I stared at Amber with wide eyes, not trusting myself to speak. This was getting a bit uncomfortable. Seriously, what do you _say_ to that?!

She laughed without waiting for an answer. She tossed her blanket off of her body and stood up, darting across the small room to grab her clothes from her dresser.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. We can leave for Freshman English Studies when I'm done."

I hurried out of bed, slipping on my shoes. "I'll go get us some coffee and muffins."

"Oh, Bella, you don't have to do that."

"No," I disagreed, "you bought us breakfast yesterday; it's my turn now."

Amber smiled at me. "Okay." I attempted what I hoped resembled a smile, but it felt wrong; I knew it didn't reach my eyes.

It seemed all I ever did anymore was pretend to be okay. I knew what was in my way of achieving happiness: Edward.

If he didn't love me anymore, then maybe I should just try to move on with my life.

_Easier said than done_, I thought to myself darkly.

But I would try. I knew that I had to attempt to pick up the broken pieces of my life. And to do that, I'd have to talk to Edward again― just one last time, a closure of sorts.

As long as he was still here, that is.

I knew what I'd do. I'd look in our school directory for his information. His address and phone number would surely be there. And who knows; maybe I'd get lucky and his family would be there….

But first, I'd have to sit through two hours of English class….

* * *

**Song for this chapter: **_Decode_** by **_Paramore_

**(Teehee… that song was written for the movie. XD)**

**I'd really like to get at least 13 reviews for this chapter. And I've decided to start something new, starting with this chapter. If you ask for a preview in your review, I'll send you a PM with a preview of the new chapter when it's written. It may take a few days, but it will come. (And don't worry; it will be shorter than this chapter's wait. Like I said, I had an extremely busy week.)**

**I love you guys!**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all your reviews. I've had a not-so-great week and they really cheered me up. XD**

**Thanks to **_Smileazf_** for being such an amazing beta and friend.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight… unless you count the books, I guess…?**

* * *

Bella's POV:

I could barely concentrate all throughout class. I kept thinking about the upcoming "confrontation," switching between getting worked up and losing all my confidence. By the end of the two hours, I had worked up enough nerve that I thought I could get this over with.

Amber left straight after class to grab a quick lunch before her next class, but I was free for the rest of the day. I walked across campus slowly, taking my time. I trudged up the flights of stairs to my dorm room, keeping my eyes on the ground the entire time.

When I reached the door marked "117," I took a deep breath and headed inside. I grabbed my laptop from on top of my dresser on my way to the bed. The computer buzzed to life, humming to itself a happy tune that contradicted completely with my current mood. After it had turned on, I just stared at the screen for a long moment before clicking open the internet.

I had set my homepage to the school's website, so all I had to do was scroll down and find the page marked "school directory."

Typing in the password to my school account, I was quickly transferred over to the school directory page. I typed in the name _Cullen_, dangling my finger over the "enter" button for a good minute before gathering the courage to lower my finger.

I closed my eyes briefly when the page loaded, not sure if I could really do this.

_You can do this, Bella. You can do this._ I felt like the little engine that could.

My eyes scanned the page, coming to rest on the all-too-familiar name.

_Cullen, Edward: (Off campus housing.) 67 Hendrick Lane. Rochester, N.Y. 14621_

Of course he wasn't living in a dorm room. It would have been a little hard to keep up the human charade there.

I wrote down the address on a sheet of paper and googled the directions to his house, quickly scrawling those down beneath the information.

I half-ran/ half-tripped down the stairs in my haste to get to my car. I hoped I could make it to his house before he left. By this point, I had convinced myself that where he was, surely so was his family. I knew how close they were as a unit, and nothing could really separate them.

The excitement to see the rest of them ― Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and even Rosalie ― was almost enough to overshadow the desperate pounding of my heart and the fluttering feeling deep down in my stomach.

_Almost._

But it was still there, trying to push itself to the forefront of my mind. What would I say when I saw him? Whatever it was, it needed to sound final. Obviously, he had moved on perfectly fine with his life. Now, it was my turn to get over our past together.

I thought back to my earlier description of the task facing me now.

_Easier said than done. _This aphorism had never seemed so fitting before in my life.

I drove down the unfamiliar roads, keeping my speed just barely down to the legal limit. Now was not a time to obey traffic laws.

As I made my way to his house, I took a look at my surroundings. The closer I got to this unknown home, the nicer the houses were. I was sure that what was waiting for me would be the most splendid of all.

And I was right. I drove down the long, winding road through the woods, a sense of déjà vu rushing through me at this familiar feature. When I pulled my blue Accord into the extensive driveway beside the meadow that housed the mansion, I did a double take.

For a minute, I forget where and when I was. It could've been any normal day two years ago, me coming to meet Edward at his home.

For the white house in front of me was very nearly identical to the one back in Forks.

There were no lights on inside, but that didn't stop me from opening the door to my car and heading toward the wide front entrance. I had been around vampires enough times to know that light was not a requirement for their lives.

I stopped in front of the big oak door, unsure of what to do next. Did I knock, or did I just wait for them to open the door? Because surely by now they would know of my presence.

After a few minutes, the door had still not been opened. I slowly lifted my hand to the rich, dark wood and flicked my wrist, rapping three shorts knocks onto the door.

On the third tap, the door opened. I didn't see anyone, but I stepped inside regardless. I turned back to the door and saw that it had been unlocked. I reached out hesitantly and closed the door shut behind me. I looked back around at the front room, and my breathing caught in my throat.

The inside of the house looked just like the old one. There was the white couch, and the old mahogany coffee table. Over there was the antique lamp that Esme had bought in Alaska. The southern wall was made entirely of glass― I could see beyond the vast backyard to the woods, with a small stream running through it. If I was going by the old layout, then the curve off of the right end of the room certainly led to the kitchen, and the one on the left to the dining room. And there, sitting lone and solitary in the corner, was Edward's piano.

A sob flew from my throat and I stumbled my way over to the beautiful instrument, running my hands over each and every key. I pressed down on the first and last keys at the same time, listening to the harsh, cynical sound it made. It sounded torn-up, much like my insides at the moment.

Only then did I realize the implications of the fact that no one was home.

They had left. I had arrived too late, and now I would never see any of them again.

I tried to control my emotions with common sense. Just yesterday, I hadn't even known they were here… so why should it matter to me so much now if they were gone?

I knew the answer….

Because yesterday, they hadn't been so close, so within reach. It felt like someone had reopened a wound that had just begun to heal itself. And this time, the pain came harder and faster.

The world around me began to shake, and it was then that I noticed that I was trembling, the sobs ripping slowly and forcefully from my body. My knees quivered and gave out, and then I was crumpled on the floor of the massive living room, my cheek pressed down to the wood with such force, like I was hoping I could fall right through the floor and be swallowed up by the ground.

I don't know how long I lay there, my body heaving up and down from the weeping that racked my body,― it could have been a few seconds, or possibly a few days; to me it felt like an eternity― before I heard the creaking of a heavy door.

I took a deep breath and worked myself up into a semi-sitting position, my body propped up against a leg of the piano.

My eyes were still clouded by tears, so I could only make out the shape of whatever had just entered the house.

I heard a sound that resembled a sharp intake of breath, and suddenly, whatever it was pounced...

* * *

**Song for this chapter: **_Let it be_** by **_The Beatles_

**How did you guys like my cliffy? Buahaha! I'm so evil. XD**

**If you review, I'll write faster, and you can find out what happens to Bella.**

**I'd really love 13 reviews for this chapter, and if you ask for a preview of the next chapter in your review, I'll send you one as soon as it's ready.**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so sorry about the wait. My computer crashed, and took all my documents (including half this chapter) with it. My dad had to fix it before I could finish.**

**OME!!! You guys are the best! That last chapter got over 30 reviews! You guys never cease to amaze me! **

**I was thinking of submitting this story to ramblings-and-thoughts(dot)com. Their next submission period is next week. I'm a bit nervous about submitting this. What do you guys think?**

**I was thinking of submitting **_Smileazf_** to my-beta-is-better-than-your-beta(dot)com. What do you guys think? (J.K. But I totally would if that site were real) XD**

**Disclaimer: If I were Stephenie Meyer, I wouldn't be writing this right now. I'd be too busy hyperventilating about the upcoming Twilight movie. (Well, I **_am_** doing that, but still…) XD**

Bella POV:

The impact sent me flying across the room, pinned down by whatever had just jumped onto me.

My eyesight was still blurry, and I opened my mouth to scream, but whatever it was beat me to it first.

"BELLA!" It screeched. "I missed you so much! You wouldn't believe how much I've missed you!"

I'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Alice!" My breathing hitched in odd places, but I couldn't find my lungs to control that. In fact, my entire chest was currently trapped against the ground.

"Alice, I've missed you so much, too. But could you please get off of me and let me breathe?" Alice laughed, and I smiled at the familiar sound of tinkling bells. For so long I had longed to hear that sound, to see her head shaking with the laughter that trickled out of her little pixie form.

She disentangled herself from my body and grabbed me up, wrapping her skinny arms around my waist. When she let go, I almost asked her to hug me again. Because looking at her now, it brought back so many memories of happier times.

She grabbed my hand, leading me over to the couch and pulling me into her side.

I was shaking with emotion when I began speaking.

"Alice, you don't know how great it is to see you again. I thought you were gone forever. I didn't think we'd ever get to have a proper goodbye." I was blubbering, but I didn't really care. "If I'd known you guys were leaving, I would have forced him to let me say goodbye to you. You were ― are― my best friend, Alice. I'm so sorry."

My voice broke on that last word. Alice smiled at me sadly before speaking.

"Bella, it's not your fault." God, how great it felt to hear her speak my name in her high soprano. "My brother was stupid. He wouldn't let us say goodbye to you. I'm so sorry about that. I should have come to you regardless. But, no. 'We can't interfere with her life anyone; a clean break would be better for us all.'"

She imitated his velveteen voice so perfectly; I could feel my heart breaking all over again.

I tried to talk around the lump that had formed in my throat, but found it was impossible. And I didn't really want to speak. I could feel the warm tears sliding mercilessly down my face. It felt so good to be here with Alice again after all this time. So natural; the silence was a comfortable one. I didn't want to ruin the moment with my babbling.

So I just sat there, letting my emotions overcome me, letting the tears fall from my eyes. I sat there in Alice's arms, and she stroked my hair and murmured how everything was going to be alright.

I wanted to believe her, I truly did. But how could everything be alright? I had finally just gotten the Cullens back into my life, and soon they'd be leaving me again.

I didn't know if I'd be able to live through it again this time.

That reminded me of why I'd come here in the first place.

I had wanted to speak with Edward so I could finally move on. Thinking about it now gave me a burst of self confidence. And being here with my best friend again gave me the courage that I needed to do this. I was ready.

I sat up slowly, twisting my body so that I could look her straight in the face.

"Alice, where's the rest of your family?" She gave me a knowing look, and I knew she knew what I was really asking. But she answered, nonetheless.

"They're still out hunting. I had a vision of you coming here, so I left to see you. But I didn't exactly let them know that I was leaving." She looked guilty, like a child getting caught stealing cookies before dinner. She continued, giving me a mischievous look. "And I suppose that Edward is still on his way to meet them. I saw that he'd meet up with them somewhere near South Africa. So I ―"

I cut her off with a startled look. "They were hunting in South Africa?!"

She looked at me like the answer was obvious. "Well, yeah. Where else can you get fresh cougar like that?"

I rolled my eyes. "But of course. What was I thinking?"

She laughed and I quickly joined in.

"So, as I was saying," she continued, still smirking widely at me, "I presume they should be back here soon, probably by sometime tomorrow. That idiot brother of mine will fill them in as to why I ran off like that.

I hadn't really listened to the last part of that. I was too busy hyperventilating over the fact that in less than twenty-four hours, I would be seeing everyone again.

Their faces flashed by in my head, one by one― burly, fun Emmett; sensitive, smart Jasper; stubborn, tenacious Rosalie; loving, gentle Esme; caring, guiding Carlisle. The family that I had once considered mine. The family that I had once longed to join, that I still longed to join. It felt weird remembering how close I'd come to almost reaching that dream.

But that was all it ever was― just a dream.

The hyperventilating returned as I thought about being face to face with them after all this time. What would I say? I wondered if they had even missed me at all.

Alice seemed to sense my worries.

"Bella, calm the hysterics. Don't make me slap you." She giggled. "They've missed you so much. I know they can't wait to see you."

"But, Alice," I asked, "how do you know that?"

"Silly Bella." She shook her head in mock indignation, then tapped her long, pale fingers against her temple. "You should know better than to bet against me."

I chuckled briefly at my ignorance and then once again leaned into her side.

"Even Rosalie kind of wants to see you."

I twisted again in her arms to stare with disbelief at Alice's tiny, innocent looking face.

"Rosalie… wants to see _me_?" The words felt strange coming from my mouth. I couldn't imagine Edward's other sister actually wanting to be in my presence. The idea was shocking, and admittedly even a bit unnerving. For some reason, Rosalie had never really taken a liking to me… and that was pretty much putting it lightly.

It was getting pretty late now; I had to get back to my dorm or Amber would get worried. Plus, I had a short paper to write for English.

I voiced this to Alice, who pulled me off the couch and walked me towards the big wooden door.

"Promise me you'll be here tomorrow when I come back?" I asked, the hope so very evident in my voice. I had Psych as well as Science tomorrow, but then I'd be off for the rest of the day.

Hopefully by then, the Cullens would be home. The thought sent my heart aflutter.

But I was almost afraid to leave Alice― nervous that if I let her out of my sight, all of this might disappear.

"Bella, I promise you I'll be here." She took a once-over of my outfit before continuing. "Plus, it really looks like your wardrobe could use my help; you can't expect me to leave you to fend for yourself in the shopping department." She feigned horror at the idea, and I couldn't even get mad at the fact that she obviously intended to spend a lot of money on me.

I laughed, and the sound was slightly hysterical. Alice caught on to this and lowered her voice significantly to a softer tone before speaking again.

"Geez, Bella, seriously… how have you been? You don't look too hot…"She trailed off and I knew exactly what she meant. My voice took on a sour edge as I answered her.

"I'm trying. It's been difficult, but I'm dealing."

"I knew we should have never left. It wasn't good for you." She sighed.

I looked at her curiously. Why did it matter how I had turned out? Edward had left for his own reasons; I was barely a factor in the matter.

Unless… maybe Edward had left for other reasons. What Alice had said had hinted at this. Maybe… maybe he still had feelings left for me….

No. I knew the truth. I shook my head, trying to dispel those dangerous, misbehaving thoughts from my mind.

Alice took my head-shaking as a sign of my disagreement towards her words.

"No, Bella, It wasn't the right decision… no matter what you say." When she said this, her golden eyes finally looked as old as her real age.

I just shrugged; she could come up with whatever theories she liked― I knew the reality of the situation.

I turned around to go out the door, and I felt Alice's hand flutter and come to rest on my shoulder. She hesitated before speaking. I turned around halfway to look at her.

"Bella, you know…." She looked away nervously for a moment. When she looked back, she didn't meet my gaze, instead focusing on the spot right over my left shoulder.

"Alice, what is it?

"Well, I was wondering… if you'd like, you could always spend the night here. We have plenty of computers that you could use for your homework. And you could stop by your room to get your stuff and to tell your roommate that you'll be out for the night." By the end her little speech, she was looking right at my face. She was practically jumping up and down, and she looked as if she'd just about burst from enthusiasm.

I couldn't deny Alice her excitement, and the idea just sounded too tempting.

"Sure, Alice, I'll spend the night. Just let me get back to my dorm room. I'll be back in half an hour."

"Oh, Bella! It will be so much fun! Just like old times!" Alice smiled, and the expression was wistful. She looked like a perfect angel; she'd outshine any figure on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

I turned back around after giving her an answering grin, and I reluctantly left the Cullen mansion behind me, driving the ten miles to campus a bit faster than was necessary.

I ran up the stairs to my dorm almost as fast as I had run down them this morning. But the difference between this morning and now was that now, I wasn't running to find something before it was too late. Now, I was running to get back to that something.

And that feeling was pure ecstasy.

I ran into my room and looked around, searching for any sign of Amber. She wasn't here, but there was a note on my pillow.

_Bella_, it read.

_I'm spending the night studying at Nicole's dorm. I'll see you in the morning. Love, Amber _

I was a bit relieved. I wouldn't have to lie to Amber's face about where I was going tonight.

I took one more look around the room and was surprised to notice something that I hadn't before. Apparently, Amber had decided to clean the room before she left for Nicole's. Some of my stuff was moved around, but I was still grateful for the fact that she had taken the initiative in keeping our dorm clean.

I went to my dresser, digging through my shirt drawer to find my green cable knit sweater. I couldn't find it. I could have sworn I had packed it. Oh well, I guess I'd just have to get it next time I visited Forks. I settled instead on a red longed sleeve shirt, and shoved the rest of my outfit into an overnight bag. I grabbed my toiletries from the bathroom, and then I scribbled a note to Amber onto the back of a napkin.

_Amber,_

_I went out tonight, too. Thanks for the heads-up. Love, Bella. P.S. The room looks great!_

I ran all the way back to the parking lot and got into my car. I drove back to the Cullen's house, smiling the entire way.

**Song for this chapter: **_With Me_** by **_Sum 41_

**I really love this song! I suppose it could also represent Bella and Edward in the woods right before he leaves…**

**Please review guys! I love all, and you totally make my day with some of the things that you write.**

**And here's a little story that will make you guys smile a bit, or possible start sharpening your pitchforks… XD**

**When I saw High School Musical 3 on Friday, in the middle my friend (who had just finished New Moon) turns to me and says, "I totally think that Zac Efron should play Edward." And I was all: :O!!! And then I slapped her. XD I did it a bit hard, so I felt a bit bad, until I remembered what she had said. XD**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**

**P.S. Remember to ask for a teaser of the next chapter in your review if you want one. It will arrive as soon as I start making the chapter. XD  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all of your great reviews! I love you all!  
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**Thanks to **_Smileazf_** for being my awesomely awesome beta!**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer; therefore I do not own Edward. (sigh) This saddens me greatly. )':**

Bella's POV:

We were upstairs in Alice's room the next morning, sitting cross-legged facing each other on the royal blue comforter on her and Jasper's king-sized bed. I tried to ignore the connotations that color had previously held for me, refusing to dredge up those memories.

Alice had spent the night making me be her life-sized Barbie doll. I had complied with good grace, just grateful to have her back in my life― no matter how short a time it may be for. So I had toughed out a few hours of makeup and nails, even enjoying myself a bit during the massage part. I had fallen asleep around eleven o'clock, exhausted from the long day I had had. I awoke the next morning laying next to Alice in bed. A smile formed at my lips and she giggled.

"Wow, Bella. You do say some interesting things in your sleep. My brother wasn't lying." I blushed a deep crimson, mortified at what I may have said. She wouldn't tell me, just shaking her head and dragging me downstairs where she practically force-fed me breakfast. Then she brought me back upstairs to her bedroom.

I had just finished telling Alice about how I had spent the last two years of my life. I didn't delve into details― actually, I had pretty much played up all the little things I had done, avoiding all the truthful pain and anguish. All the time, Alice stared at me in an uncanny way, and for some reason, I got the feeling that she could hear the words I wasn't saying. I decided to focus the subject on a different topic, other than myself.

"Okay," I said. "I told you about what I did in the past two years. Now, you've got to tell me what the Cullen Clan has been up to."

Alice stared at me for a moment, and I wasn't quite sure what she was looking for in my face.

"Well," she began, "Emmett and Rosalie spent the first year and a half back in Africa, roaming around and staying with a couple of friends we have there. As for Jasper and I, we stayed with Carlisle and Esme in Alaska for that time. Do you remember our friends, the Denali coven?" I nodded yes and she continued. "We stayed with them. Carlisle found work at a local hospital in the area, and Esme stayed at home with the other coven. Jasper took some classes at a college up there in Alaska, and I did a little personal discovery of my own. You probably remember how James led me to the discovery of where I was before, right?" I shuddered; how could I forget? I nodded my assent. "Yes, well, I searched around for a bit and found out more about myself."

"Oh, Alice! That's so great!"

She looked a bit sheepish and continued on, telling me about how she had tracked down the asylum she had been placed in, and her real name. She told me about her sister, and how she had a niece that was still alive. I teared up a bit when she got to the part about how her parents had put her in that mental hospital, and that they had considered her dead the moment she had entered that place. I couldn't imagine any parent ever wanting to do that to their child. It seemed like such a horrible thing to do.

Noticing my discomfort, Alice was quick to calm me. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek. This was unexpected; shouldn't _I _be comforting _her_ about this tough situation?

She pulled back to finish telling me about the Cullens' lives in Alaska. I noticed she hadn't mentioned a certain name, but I didn't call her out on this. Instead, I asked her about how they ended up in Rochester.

"Well," she said, her pixie voice sounding a bit strained. "About six months ago, Carlisle decided he wanted to head back into civilization." I chuckled about her choice of words. "We looked through our options, and Rochester just seemed the best place for us right now. And plus Ed-… um, I mean Carlisle, found a great job here." She looked away, uncertainty creeping between the gold flecks in her eyes. This time, I spoke up about what she had obviously been avoiding.

"And what exactly has your other brother been up to these past 24 months?" I was surprised by the steadiness of my voice, and I could tell Alice was, too. But I wasn't finished yet.

"Hmmm… 24 months, that should have been plenty of time for him to get distracted. Judging by his usual time slot, I'd say he could have been distracted about four times. Am I right?" _Unless now, his relationships lasted even less than six months_, I added to myself silently.

Alice's head shot straight up so that we were seeing eye to eye. And in her eyes, I could see so many different emotions playing across their gold canvas. Among them were quite a few I recognized… sadness, pity…. And a few unexpected. Was that… anger? I wondered what Alice was irritated about. Certainly, it couldn't have been anything I'd said.

"Edward didn't stay with us until we moved here. I don't know exactly where he was, but he came back every few months to check in with us. But, Bella," She spoke each word slowly, with a mix of disappointment and fervor. "I wouldn't pass judgment on how he's been in the last two years." Her eyes flashed for a short second, before settling back once again. Her jaw remained clenched as she stared at me to gauge my reaction.

I was shocked, to say the least. Edward hadn't been with the Cullens? But why? They were such a close family….

Seeing my obvious astonishment, Alice's expression softened.

"Bella, he's had a bit of a rough time, too, these past two years." I gave her a doubtful look. "No, really. He… well, I'll let him tell you about all that when he gets here." My heart flip-flopped madly at her words. She smiled sadly, half-heartedly, at my apparent stress. I changed the subject quickly, steering the conversation away from myself, not wanting to see her pity for me.

At around 10 o'clock I had had to leave to go to class. I hugged Alice goodbye and made her promise she'd still be here when I got back. For some reason, she felt that my need for assurance was amusing. I didn't laugh along with her this time, instead shooting her a look. She silenced at once and grabbed for my hand with both of hers, promising once again that she'd be here, waiting, after class.

"Don't worry," she said. "They want to see you just as much as you want to see them."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I didn't think anything could be more tormenting than class yesterday, but boy, was I sadly mistaken. I pretended to concentrate and take notes during both my classes, but my mind was resilient; it just wouldn't stay where I was. It was off on its own, imagining and fretting over seeing the Cullens again.

When my second class was over, I practically ran out of the room and jumped into my car. I started the engine and flew done the streets that were becoming ever more familiar to me now.

There were now three cars greeting me in the driveway, rather than the previous number of one.

I got out of my car slowly, noting for the first time that the door to the mansion was left ajar. I walked up the path to the front porch, climbing up the steps at a snail's pace. I hesitated in the open doorway, wondering if I should just go in.

I turned my head slightly to look back towards the front lawn. When I twisted back towards the main room, they were all there, sitting on the various couches and chairs like they'd been there the entire time. Every single one of them, save for _him_. Where was he? But I was okay without seeing him for the moment. I wanted to be alone with the rest of the family before bringing back all the rest of that pain.

"Come in please, Bella." The sound of Esme's warm, maternal voice sent me over the edge, and I blinked back the tears as I walked into the enormous white room.

Immediately, I was bombarded with a hug from behind, accompanied with laughter that rumbled throughout the entire house.

"Emmett," I breathed― just barely, though, because he was crushing my rib cage.

"Bella!" he cried, and I realized how much I had missed his burly voice.

"Emmett, put Bella down before you squish her." Carlisle's voice was like a smooth ocean, and I instinctually turned towards the sound. He was seated next to Esme on the main white couch, holding her hand tightly.

Emmett squeezed me tighter for a second before letting me go and spinning me around to face him. I blushed, and a big goofy grin spread wide across his face.

"Wow, Bells. I really missed having you around. Your expressions are so comical." I swatted him playfully, reproachfully, on the arm. Unfortunately, I had forgotten how hard he was. My hand bounced back, and I began rubbing the pain with my other hand. This just made Emmett laugh harder.

The other Cullens moved from their seated spots to come over and greet me. I smiled bashfully at the familiar faces.

"Hi, guys." My voice was barely above a whisper, but I knew they could all hear me. Esme came forward and wrapped her cool arms around my body, pulling me in gently for a hug. I submitted willingly, draping my arms around her as well.

"Bella," she whispered in my ear. "My daughter, Bella. I'm so glad to see you again." A pained sound came from my throat at the word _daughter_. Indeed, I had considered Esme like a mother to me before they had left, and her lacking presence had taken a toll on me.

She pulled back after a few minutes, and I could see Jasper hovering on the edge of our informal circle. I hadn't seen him since the night of my disastrous birthday party. I took a step towards him, and he looked slightly unsure. I nodded my encouragement at him as I closed the distance between us, throwing my arms around him. He stiffened at once, and I could hear that he had stopped breathing.

"Don't worry," Alice whispered― it seemed like this was all she ever said anymore. "Nothing is going to happen." Jasper relaxed visibly and slowly wound his arms around me as well.

"I'm so sorry," he said, his voice heart-breaking. "Bella, it's all my fault. I lost control; I shouldn't have. If I hadn't we wouldn't have left." The room turned silent as his words sunk in.

"No, Jasper, it's not your fault," I reassured him. No need to include the fact that they would have left regardless.

I pulled back after a long moment and scanned the room for the two remaining Cullens there. Carlisle caught my gaze and walked forward, embracing me briefly before drawing back and pecking me lightly on the cheek.

"Bella," he said, "it's truly so great to see you again. It was like missing a family member when you were gone." I could feel the heat building beneath my skin, slowly growing more feverish as it made its way up my neck and spread towards my cheeks. Emmett laughed once again at my discomfiture.

"Bella," whispered another voice. I twisted to face Rosalie, who somehow managed to look even more uncomfortable than me.

"Hey, Rosalie," I said softly. She did not envelope me in a hug as the others had. She merely gave a weary smile of acknowledgment and stepped back to join Emmett at his side.

Then, suddenly, all the Cullens' heads whipped around to face the staircase, and the figure that was slowly, gracefully, striding down it. I sucked in a rush of breath and held it, letting it whoosh out noisily when I finally saw his face.

His bronze hair was perfectly untidy, just short of falling over his right eye. His tight green sweater greatly accentuated his muscles in a pleasing way. His expression was carefully guarded and measured― indecipherable.

"Edward?" I hadn't even realized that I had spoken. The word came out sounding high-pitched and unsteady. I braced my hand against the arm of the couch for support as my knees began to shake. His hand reached out towards me like he wanted to steady me, but then he thought better of the idea and quickly pulled his hand back, keeping his ground and staying right where he was.

"Bella," he said, my name sounding like a million tiny gems rolling off of his tongue. I shuddered internally at the sound of the brilliant velvet. Alice's imitations hadn't done it any justice, and I had barely remembered it after what had happened that first day in class.

"Bella," he repeated again, sighing the word. "We need to talk."

And with that, he strode past me out the door, turning once as he left to beckon my following.

* * *

**Song for this chapter: **_Bleeding Love_** by **_Leona Lewis._

**I left a bit of a cliffy. Oh, evil, evil me. XD**

**Bella and Edward are finally going to talk! Yay! But it may not be for another chapter, because the next chapter is going to be Edward's point of view from after class that first day, up until now.**

**Remember to review, because that helps me update faster. And ask for a teaser in the review if you want. XD**

**Love and Edward Kisses,**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle** (:


	9. Chapter 9

**Eww! I just wrote an extra credit report on reproduction (a.k.a. baby-making) for Honors Biology, and I think I may be scarred for life! It's not as romantical when they make it all science-y. D;**

**In other news, Annie**― ** that same friend who believed that Zac Efron was a reasonable choice for playing Edward Cullen**― **recently expressed the idea that Troy and Gabriella's relationship from High School Musical somehow rivaled that of Edward's and Bella's love for each other. Given my new comprehension of how a baby is made, I now believe that she was given radioactive DNA**― **how else could you explain the wrongness that plagues that child's mind?**

**Disclaimer: I am too disturbed right now to think of a proper disclaimer signifying that Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer…. Let me start back up my brain before I do that.**

**(And in the meantime, let me thank my beta **_Smileazf_**, whose DNA is far from radioactive!)**

Edward's POV:

I spun furiously, searching frantically for any sign of my family.

I spotted a piece of paper on the rarely-used kitchen counter.

_Edward,_ it read.

_Gone hunting. Be back later._

― _Alice_

I felt a growl build in my chest as I realized what was going on here. I had been set up― Alice had known all along what was to happen today. No wonder that this morning she had seemed the most optimistic that she had since we had left Forks. She had claimed she was just excited about the fact that I was trying my hand at the real world again. I had thought nothing of the fact that she was translating the Star-Spangled Banner into Czechoslovakian― I had assumed she was just thinking of Bella and didn't want to upset me. I was beyond livid now! When I got my hands on that little pixie….

I dashed out the front door, tearing the offending note into tiny microscopic shreds that followed behind me like a trail of breadcrumbs.

I followed their scent across the continental U.S., and then tracked them across the ocean to Africa. Alice could not have chosen a more inconvenient location for her little escapade. The thought of finally being able to voice my fury towards her somehow managed to prompt me to run faster than even I thought possible.

I ran all through the night, and a good part of the next morning, too. I didn't need sleep, and there was no way I was going to stop to hunt.

At about midday, I finally caught their scent near a forest in South Africa. I ran through the woods, finally coming to a halting stop in front of a very surprised Emmett.

"Edward! What are you doing here?"

Jasper, hearing Emmett, came through a spot between two trees on our right.

I got right to the point― I didn't have time for small talk.

"Bella's a student in my class."

Emmett burst out in laughter, and Jasper look shell-shocked. I glowered at Emmett.

"What's so funny, Emmett?" I was shaking with anger.

"Calm down, Edward," Jasper said. I felt a surge of calm coming from Jasper, but it rolled off of me uselessly. I was too far gone for that.

"I'm sorry," Emmett said. "But can't you see just how humorous this is?"

I looked at him with a cold, hard glare, and he could tell that I didn't find it comical in the slightest. I glanced at Jasper. He was purposely keeping his face expressionless, and his mind blank as well.

"Edward, don't you see? This is perfect!" I whisked around to glare at Emmett again. Jasper was nodding his agreement at the words.

"What do you mean… _perfect_?" I all but growled at them. "We left her for her _protection_― for her _benefit_. We have to go now. If we stay, not only do we risk her life… we risk her happiness. That was the sole reason we left in the first place. So she could have a chance for a normal, human life. _For her happiness_." The words bounced over and over again through my head.

_Her happiness, her happiness, her happiness_. I repeated it like a silent mantra, trying to calm myself. But it didn't do the trick― I was still riled up, my muscles tense and coiled.

How many times had I thought of going back to Forks, only to stop myself by those two words?

"Edward, he's right," Jasper said. "We all know that you still love her, me especially. I know the pain you felt when you left her, the pain you still feel every day― every second. It's not fair to you… and frankly, it's not fair to her either."

"It's not fair to her?" I looked at Jasper incredulously. "You want to know what's not fair to Bella? What's not fair is that I selfishly want to be with her. I selfishly want to take away her chance to be normal!" How could they not see the big picture here? I was a monster, and angels like Bella deserved better than a monster.

"Edward," Jasper tried to keep his voice soothing, but my anger was coursing through him, as well, and there was a slight edge to his tone.

"Jasper, no! I can't put her in that position again. The position where my own _brother_ tries to kill her and I have to protect her. I don't want to be pitted against my own family. But I can't let anything happen to her!"

Jasper looked away, out towards the forest, hiding his expression. His thoughts just kept repeating the words 'I'm sorry' over and over again.

I knew I had gone too far. I felt horrible, but I didn't think I'd exactly take back those words. They were true. But I could alleviate a bit of Jasper's guilt.

"Jasper, it wasn't only you. It was only a matter of time before something else happened. We're a family of people who crave blood― and Bella's a danger magnet. Something was bound to happen eventually."

Emmett took a step closer to me and reached out as if to lay his palm on my shoulder. I hurriedly darted out of the way, slipping into a slight crouch.

"Careful, Edward," Jasper reproached me. His eyes flashed, the instincts inside of him automatically reacting to my change of position.

"Jasper, Emmett, we have to leave. This is my decision, not yours, not Alice's, not Rosalie's, not Esme's, not Carlisle's… _mine_." I emphasized the last word, trying to make them get the point.

"No, Edward."

I narrowed my eyes at Emmett.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" My voice cut like the steel blade of a knife through the air.

"What I mean, _dear brother_," his voice was dripping with sarcasm, "is that this is no longer just your decision. It's _our_ decision― the entire family's. We stood by last time and went by your rules, and just look where that's gotten us."

I cringed as Emmett's mind deliberately forced me to see images of my family over the last two years. His deep voice narrated along to the silent movie playing in my head.

"Carlisle doesn't smile, Esme doesn't laugh anymore. Alice barely shops. Hell, even Rosalie isn't happy. We're only happy when you're happy. And you're only happy when you're with _her_."

"But you guys didn't see her!" I protested relentlessly. "She doesn't want to be with me anymore. She doesn't love me anymore― she hates me."

"Edward," Emmett said. "Bella loves you. And I'm sure she can only blame you for so long. I mean, come _on_, she knows why you left. She has to be able to see _some_ sense in that twisted, idiotic, ludicrous purpose of yours. She's always loved you― she still does." He murmured his next words as an afterthought, "No matter how thick-headed you are. She knows you just wanted to protect her."

I flinched as the guilt squeezed through every pore in my body. Nobody except Bella and I really knew what I had said to her that day in the woods. Even Alice hadn't seen it, because I had already asked her to stop looking into Bella's future by then. They had never asked for specifics; they knew I didn't want to talk about it― hell, I didn't want to talk about anything back then.

I realized a moment too late that I had given myself away. I had completely focused my attention on Emmett, forgetting that Jasper was simply ten feet away.

As my rush of emotions hit him full force, they were reflected back at me, along with his reaction. His suspicion hung in the air, amplified by his abilities. He stalked forward and ignored me as I tried to skitter out of the way.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, what in God's name did you tell that girl?" I shook my head and backed up further, trying to avoid his unfalteringly glare.

Emmett came up behind him then, looking an absolute menace. He looked truly terrifying― all traces of humor gone from his face. He had obviously caught on to the direction this conversation had taken.

"Edward, is Jasper saying what I think he's saying? What did you say to Bella when we left? I'm guessing you didn't tell her the truth."

I was actually a bit afraid of this version of my brother. I had never seen this side of him, and I never wanted to see it again. Who else could make a vampire tremble with fear?

I backed up until I felt my body make contact with a tree. I ignored it and pressed on, knocking over a few more trees in my efforts to get myself out of this situation. How had the tables turned so suddenly? First, I had been the one yelling at them, now it was flipped― they were in control.

"Edward, tell us," Emmett said. "If you don't, we could always go and ask Bella, you know."

"You stay away from her!" I growled at them. But I figured I should tell them the truth. The problem was how to go about telling them without them tearing me apart for my falsehoods.

"Well… you see…" I couldn't figure out what to say. I had an sudden idea. "You guys know Bella. She doesn't care about her own safety. She wouldn't have cared if we had left for her protection. She would have insisted it was no big deal." It sounded uneasy to my own ears, but I hoped my brothers would accept it.

"And?" Jasper prompted. "What did you say, if you didn't tell her the truth?" I had stopped moving by now. I slumped down onto the ground and let my head fall forwards into my hands.

I had a flashback to that afternoon in the woods. I remembered my words and shuddered at them now. I remembered her heartbroken face and felt a sob rise in my throat. More followed, and suddenly I was crying tearlessly.

"What did you say, Edward?" Emmett's voice was just a little softer now as he took in my current state.

"I told her that I d-didn't want her with me…. Sh-she asked if I wa-wanted her. I told her n-no." I couldn't stop the stuttering of my despaired words.

When I finally looked up from my hands, Emmett and Jasper looked incredulous.

"EDWARD! YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T LOVE HER?!" I flinched at Jasper's accusatory tone, and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"I don't know why she believed it. I had told her millions of times that my love for her rivaled none other. How could she believe me?" I was talking to myself mostly, shaking my head back and forth.

"I can't believe you." The acid in Jasper's voice was undeniable.

"Well, that settles it then!" Emmett boomed.

"Settles what?" I asked, suspicion creeping into my tone.

Just then, Carlisle and Esme came bounding into the little impromptu clearing made from the fallen trees.

"We heard a lot of screaming," Carlisle said.

"And banging," Esme added hastily. Her forehead was creased with worry.

"Bella's back." Emmett said, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"Really?" Esme couldn't hide her excitement.

"Yes," Jasper answered her. "She's a student in Edward's class."

"Well, that is quite the… coincidence?" Carlisle voiced it more like a question than a statement.

"Oh," Esme said, understanding coloring her tone. "So that's where Alice ran off to last night."

I whirled around to look at Emmett and Jasper.

"You guys didn't tell me that!"

"You didn't ask," Jasper said, shrugging. He sounded slightly smug.

"I can't believe her! Why would she do this?!" I pinched the bridge of my nose between the thumb and forefinger of my right hand. "Jasper, I may have to have a few… _choice words_ with your wife when we see her.

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"You touch her, and I'll make sure you have no more arms."

Esme gasped and Carlisle quickly stepped in between us.

"Boys." His tone was stern, and we knew not to continue.

Emmett cleared his throat and we all turned to look at him.

"Do you know what Edward told Bella when we left?"

Esme raised one eyebrow in confusion, and Carlisle answered.

"Yes, he told her we needed to leave for her safety…." He trailed off as Emmett began shaking his head at an impossible speed.

"He didn't?" Esme looked at me expectantly, and I turned away from her innocent face.

"No. That idiot told her he didn't love her." I didn't have to look at my parents to gauge their reactions. Their thoughts said it all― the surprise, the shock, the utter disappointment, the sadness, the pity, and yet again, the disappointment.

"Is this true?" Esme's voice held no emotion, but her mind was enough to break me. I winced.

"Yes, I told her what I needed to. She wouldn't care about her own safety."

"Edward, I'm disappointed in you." Carlisle's reaction hurt the most.

"I know," I said. "I could hear it loud and clear in your head." He just nodded.

"So, as I was saying before you guys showed up," Emmett said. "We have to go back now."

"No! We can't go back now!" My desperation rang in the air like a bell.

"Edward, you at least have to tell her that you lied. She still thinks you don't love her. I'm sure that she still has feelings for you― how couldn't she? You guys were each other's whole lives," Emmett said, earning urgent nods from my other family members.

"You have to at least try, son." Esme came over and pulled me into a hug. I leaned my head onto her shoulder and took the deepest breath I had ever taken in my entire existence.

"Edward," Jasper whispered. "Fate has brought you two together again. Use this second chance to make things right."

"Let's get going, then," Carlisle said.

I nodded slowly, and then we all flashed into the woods.

**Song for this chapter: **_Sober_** by **_Pink_

**So, did you guys like it? Review if you did please.**

**I already have "the talk" chapter written up, ready to go. I wrote it even before this chapter. I have a really, really, really busy day tomorrow, but if I get a lot of reviews for this chapter, I'll find time tomorrow to upload it.**

**Love and Emmett hugs,**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	10. Chapter 10

I followed him out the door and into the dusk. It was twilight― not quite night, yet still the ending of another day.

I immediately wished I had thought to bring a jacket with me. The autumn air was brisk, and I restrained myself from covering my torso with my arms. As he walked across the yard, me trailing behind him, the light drizzle began to steadily climb in force. By the time he stopped walking and wheeled around to face me, there was a steady down-pour raining from the murky, ominous clouds above. The wind picked up the small drops of precipitation, swirling them around through the bitter, icy air, made all the more unpleasant by what I knew was coming.

I stopped where I was― significantly slower than him, I had only made it so far across the colossal front yard, still a good 15 feet from where he stood.

He stood in the rain, seemingly oblivious to the rain falling all around us like the tears I had cried for him when I had first seen him again. Truthfully, the rain was a bit unsettling. It blew in my face, whipping into my eyes like sharp little daggers. I supposed that was what I deserved, somehow, for the blasphemy I was about to commit.

His eyes were pitch-black; there was no trace of topaz to be found in the deep abysses.

"Bella," he began, his voice sounding tense and distant, a foreign sound to me. It was no longer the soft, velvet caress it usually was; it was rough, brought down a few octaves. It would have been quite sexy in any other setting― but not here, not now.

"Bella, … I have something to tell you. Something I should have said long ago. I―"

I cut him off, knowing exactly what he was going to say, and not wanting to hear him utter those words. I would have to end this first, before he did, if I wanted to have any chance of surviving this later.

"Edward, I know what you are going to say. You don't need to say it though, because," I took a deep breath here, swallowing a mouthful of water, "I feel the same way, Edward."

He looked confused for a brief moment before composing his face back into its careful mask. But he couldn't hide the silent agony in his eyes. I wondered where it came from, and decided it was the result of all the guilt. I don't think he knew I still had such strong feelings for him, but he could tell this would still affect me, nonetheless.

"You do?" he asked. "You feel the same way?" I nodded meekly.

"Yes, Edward. It was two years ago; _**we**_were two years ago. I know that it has passed and gone."

He looked shocked and began talking in a hurry.

"No, Bella, wait. I don't think you understand. Let me explain." Why did he insist on torturing me? I knew the words he wanted to say…. Why must he speak them aloud? Not only had he reopened wounds that had begun to heal, but now he was rubbing dirt into the cut. And it stung― real bad.

"No, Edward. It really isn't necessary. I think that we both―"

Now it was his turn to cut _me_ off.

"Bella, you don't seem to get it."

"No, Edward, I comprehend perfectly. It's pretty crystal clear what you are trying to say here."

I held my breath for a moment to control myself. Then I took the deepest breath yet, knowing what would come next would be the hardest thing I had ever done in my entire 20 years of life.

"Edward," my voice shook relentlessly as I attempted to keep it under control, to no avail. "Those six months, they were great. I was young and naïve, and I enjoyed myself. But Edward," the tears were streaming so heavily down my cheeks now that it was impossible to tell them apart from the harsh rain drops falling mercilessly from the sky. I was suddenly grateful for the moisture descending from the heavens― it was stopping him from fully seeing the emotions that continued to drop from my eyes. "Our lives have moved apart since then. You went your way… and I… I went mine."

"Bella, that's just it!" His tone held a zealousness I had never heard in it before. "I- I have… something to admit to you. Bella, I've wanted to tell you this for so long, but my chance didn't come until I saw you again that day, standing in that classroom. I have to tell you now, before it's too late."

My whispered words were barely heard over the ear-piercing shrieks of the wind.

"It's already too late." He shook his head at my words, and I let my eyes drop to the ground beneath my feet.

"Bella, I lied. That day in the woods, I lied. I shouldn't have, it was wrong, but I couldn't… I couldn't…." He trailed off, leaving me more than a little bit confused.

"Edward, what do you mean 'you lied?' What couldn't you do?" I hadn't realized until now that I had leaned towards his body, even from as far away from him as I was.

"Bella, I lied. I still do love you. I only left for your protection. I couldn't keep putting you in danger like that!"

My breathing stopped altogether and the blood pounded furiously behind my ears. I couldn't believe this. He was tricking me now, I just knew it. If he really still loved me like he claimed, he never would have left. Even if I had been in danger, we would have found a way to be together…. We had before.

I suddenly remembered something my ninth grade English teacher had once said. Her words came to me clearly in this moment. "A true relationship requires two people loving each other. But it also involves one person loving the other more, no matter how much larger or smaller this love is. This is how it's always been― how it always will be."

When she had first brought up the topic, I hadn't agreed. I had assured myself that there had to be one _true_ person out there for everyone, you just had to search hard enough to find them. And when you found them, your unconditional love would be equal.

When I had initially met Edward, I thought I had finally proven her wrong. We seemed to have quite an equal bond. Then, he had gone and left me….

Right in this instant, I knew that what she had said had been nothing but the truth. It wasn't possible for two people to love each other equally― this just didn't exist. There was always more of a longing on one side.

So maybe Edward wasn't lying entirely. Maybe he did still love me… in some way. It definitely wasn't as strong as it had been two years ago, but maybe it still was something― though surely it was nothing compared to what I felt for him.

And I realized this wasn't enough. I wouldn't be happy loving someone whose love for me was nowhere near equivalent to how my heart beat solely for him. I needed to feel equal, like my love was well reciprocated. And I knew this would never happen with Edward. What we had… it had been lost two years ago. Maybe then he had actually loved me close to how much I had loved him…. But definitely not now. I couldn't get by with this― this guilt-induced pretend-love.

My breath was coming in harsh gasps, and my hands instinctively flew up to wrap around my upper body, holding myself together to keep from falling apart. I was shivering, not from the cold, but still I hoped that this would add to the effect that my arms were merely there to stop the wintry, unrelenting wind.

I had to end this now. It had to sound final, something that we couldn't come back from. I had to set him free from this feeling that he seemed to have― like he somehow owed it to me to be with me again. I concentrated on my breathing as I cried the words as loud and forceful as I could manage.

"Edward, I'm not the same girl I was two years ago!" I couldn't contain the weeping sobs from racking my body and I continued, shaking in my frame. "I've changed since you left me that day in the woods. I've realized all the mistakes I've made in this life… and I won't make them again. I can't do this― _**we**_can't do this." I put emphasis on the _we_, letting him know that this was for both of us. I also realized that this would be the last time that Edward and I would be used as a plural.

"Goodbye, Edward Cullen."

_Goodbye, my life, my heart, my love_.

He stared after me, looking incredulous. His mouth was parted in the slightest― I wasn't sure if it was a sign of shock, or the unformed words of _goodbye_ frozen on his lips. I couldn't meet his gaze.

I had to leave― **now**! I couldn't stand this any longer. I turned around to make my way back to my truck― back to my bleak, hollow existence. I let my heavy eyelids fly closed as I trudged my way across the enormous front lawn.

But I should have known better than to close my eyes to the world. Damn me and my clumsiness! I felt a bit of uneven land beneath my feet, and I felt my body tumble forward before my mind had fully registered the fact yet. I threw my arms out in front of me to brace my fall, and I felt pain shoot up my arms as they made contact with the rough ground.

I twisted onto my side and I smelt the blood before I felt it pulsing down my arm, hot and wet. I turned my head away from the sight and stopped the flow of oxygen through my nose, breathing heavily through my mouth instead. I was suddenly back two years ago, staring up as Jasper tried unsuccessfully to clamp his jaws onto my skin, struggling against Emmett's iron girder hold on him. That was the day that so much had changed, the day that a certain someone's true colors had shown through for the first time. I shook myself from the memory as the pain intensified.

"Bella!" My name strangled through his lips at a volume that had me wondering how I didn't go deaf right at that moment.

"Edward, no!" I spoke with a new determination in my tone. I wasn't going to let my ineptness come in the way of the "progress" I had just made. I scoffed internally at the word _progress_. "Stay where you are. I'm fine."

I brought my arms up against my body, cradling them against my stomach. I inspected the damage tentatively. My right arm was fine― there was a dark area that I knew would be a heavy bruise in the morning, as well as a few scrapes along the bottom of my palm― nothing I couldn't handle.

My left arm was not quite so lucky. A long gash sliced from the crease in my elbow, stopping about an inch from my wrist. I swore under my breath and adjusted my position, pushing myself up slightly with my less-wounded right hand.

"Bella, you are hurt. _Please_." His heartrending voice was extremely depressing, but I held my own.

"I'm really okay. I've dealt with worse pain." _Physically __**and**__ mentally_**, **I added to myself.

"At least let Carlisle take a look at it. It may need stitches." I looked up and realized that his entire family was standing on the porch. And to add insult to injury, each one of them was looking at me with pity evident in their faces― even Rosalie.

I locked eyes with Jasper's reproachful gaze― Oh god! He knew! He knew I had lied, he knew I still loved Edward. He would have felt it with his uncanny ability to read emotions. And if Jasper knew, then surely Edward would know by now by reading his thoughts! Oh god, no! Everything I had just done would be negated. Wait, but if Edward knew, he would have said something. I had to hold on to this hope. I bored my stare into Jasper's eyes, willing him with my eyes to keep his knowledge a secret. He took a deep breath and shook his head― but it wasn't a "no" shake, it was an "I can't believe I'm going to do this" shake. I sighed in relief and tore my gaze from his before speaking again.

"I'm good. I can drive myself to the hospital. I'm a righty, anyway. I can drive with one hand."

"Bella," Carlisle scolded me softly. "Edward is right; I can check the cut. Or if you really want, one of us can drive you to the hospital."

I took a deep breath and unsteadily rose from the ground, using my right hand for support in pushing myself up off of the wet, cold ground.

"No, don't worry. I'd like to go on my own, please."

Edward looked as if he wanted to come over to me then, but he stayed where he was. He realized he couldn't make me do anything. Seriously, did he expect to tie me down and have Carlisle inspect me?

I clutched my left arm tighter to my body and made my way over to my car, opening the door, climbing in, and sticking my keys in the ignition― all while just using one arm. I know I looked pretty pathetic, and I tried to keep my head held high as I twisted the keys.

I didn't think the cut looked too bad, so I decided I wouldn't go to the hospital after all.

The car sputtered to life, and I didn't spare another glance back as I drove out of seemingly endless driveway and into the winding path of the woods.

I kissed the Cullens― and what could have been ― goodbye, as I sped into the night.

**Edward's POV:**

I stared after her, shocked, until I could no longer see the faint glow of her car lights, and the sound of her engine had long grown out of even my hearing range.

I couldn't believe what had just happened.

I had opened up to her and expressed my love and my lies, just like Emmett and Jasper had said to do. And what had she done? Shot me down! Called me out! Conveyed her true feelings― the fact that she no longer loved me! And could I really blame her? She had done exactly what I had hoped for when I had left her all that time ago― she had gotten over me. That day seemed like millennia ago, yet still like it had happened just yesterday.

I felt the arms of my family members attempting to comfort me. I shrugged them off, moving down the steps and towards the woods that bordered our property.

_Where are you going?_ Carlisle wondered silently.

_Edward, I really don't think that you should follow her_, Jasper thought after me.

I could hear my mother and sisters reflecting similar beliefs in their minds.

"Edward," Emmett was the only one who decided to speak aloud. "Come back. Don't go after her right now, it's not the time."

I wheeled around to glare at my family.

"It's _not the time_?!" My voice sounded shrill and rasping, growing steadier in volume. "You all seemed to think it was_ the time_ yesterday and earlier today, when you convinced me to talk to her in the first place!"

They all stared at me, stunned and taken aback by my behavior. I was quite astounded by how I was acting, too, but I was too pissed to do anything about it at the moment.

"And either way," I continued, letting more ice seep into my tone, "I wasn't going to find her. I was going into the forest to be alone. Is that alright with you guys? Will you guys _allow_ that?" I truly sounded like a vampire right now, and it was a bit frightening.

Esme nodded slowly, and I turned back around to stomp once again towards the line of trees in front of me. When I was a few yards away from the fringe of the woods, Alice's vision quickly cut into my mind.

"Edward!" Her shriek was ear-shattering.

I raced back towards her as the vision grew clearer in her thoughts. I shook her shoulders sharply; the contact would have been quite harmful to a human.

"Alice," I begged. "When is this going to happen?"

"I don't know," she cried.

I swiveled around without any further explanation for the rest of my family, and flew back towards the woods, racing nimbly through the trees.

I hoped with all my heart― and the soul Carlisle seemed to think I had― that I wouldn't be too late, as I pushed my body to the limits, rushing ever faster towards Bella's dorm room.

**Songs for this chapter:**

_White Horse _**by**_ Taylor Swift_

_When six songs collide _**by**_ Norwegian Recycling_

_Gotta be Somebody _**by **_Nickelback_

_If I were a Boy _**by**_ Beyoncé_

_Bleeding Love _**by**_ Leona Lewis_

_Fall for you___**by**_ Secondhand Serenade_

_Break away_ **by**_ Kelly Clarkson_

**This chapter had so many songs, because they all breathed life into the emotions that I used to write this. They are a perfect reflection of this chapter, and they greatly inspired my writing. I suggest you listen to them all, especially the first four. And the first one was pretty much my outline for this chapter.**

**And yes, I've realized that you all probably hate me for this cliffy. Unfortunately, there won't be a teaser available for the next chapter, because I don't want to spoil anything. XD**

**My English teacher just told us last week that she does believe that relationships consist of one person loving the other more. I vehemently denied this, bringing to mind Bella and Edward's relationship. I couldn't help but bring up that controversial issue in this chapter. So what do you guys think? Do you believe that? Leave the answer in your reviews.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	11. Chapter 11

**Shout-out to everyone who puts up with me and continues to email and/or PM me, even though I probably annoy them! XD Seher, Hannah, Onyx, Meg, and "the other" Michelle! :D**

**I have a new story. It's called **_The Melody Haunts My Reverie_**. It's from Edward's POV from after he comes back in New Moon, starting with the night they get back from Italy. It deals with Edward and Bella readjusting to each other after that time. It delves into Edward earning back Bella's trust, and Bella getting over her inevitable newfound abandonment issues. There are also extensive flashbacks to the night Edward told his family they were leaving, Edward's time without Bella, and Edward in Italy. The second chapter should be out soon. Please read it!**

**Loves goes out to my Beta, **_Smileazf_**. (Though I should punish her because she wouldn't let me listen to her cell phone's Taylor Swift music the other day. XP)**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, although, at the rate that I'm going, I'll probably end up seeing her movie more times than her. XD**

I knew it wasn't safe to drive home in my current state, yet I couldn't find any urge to care. The tears trailed down my face, obstructing my view of the windshield, while at the same time, the rain streamed across the front window at an identical pace, carving an invisible path along the glass.

I drove quickly and recklessly, swerving in and out of lanes and passing multiple cars in my attempt to get away as fast as possible. I slowed only once― when I had passed a bright blue police cruiser. I had resumed my earlier example of carelessness soon after, when I had driven around the corner and was certain that the cop was far from my vision.

I slowed when I reached the parking lot, wanting to prolong the time before the inevitable onslaught of tears that would arrive as soon as I was completely alone.

As I walked up the steps to my dorm room, I couldn't help but remember the last time my presence had graced these very stairs― I was shocked by how quickly things had changed since then.

I shook off the thought and continued ambling my way up the stairway, leaning every so often on the banister for support.

I took my time rummaging through my shoulder bag to look for my room keys, looking over at a passing student and smiling as she walked by. I knew the smile wasn't very convincing, but I was still trying to waste some time.

The keys jingled in the lock and I pulled them out and placed them back into my purse before zipping it shut. With a final sigh, I reached for the doorknob and threw open the door, shuffling over the stop and into the small room before turning towards the doorway and slamming it shut with all the force I could muster.

Immediately, I could feel the chill in the air, and I instinctually wrapped my arms around my body and slight tremors shook my frame. I hadn't remembered leaving any windows open, but perhaps Amber had been in here earlier and had been too warm.

I felt the trembling begin soon after, and I tried my best to fight off the hysteria, taking deep, even breaths to stop the new batch of tears taking the place of those that had begun to dry as I had walked up the stairs. A few rogue drops of water made their solitary way down my cheeks. I didn't bother wiping them off, letting them drop off my face and plopping onto the floor with a horrible finality.

A sudden flash of paranoia hit me then, but I knew it probably just had to do with all that I'd had to take in the past couple of days. Anyone would be a little weirded out by the previous events.

I shrugged off the odd sensation of being watched and let my bag drop down off of my arm, laying it to rest on the floor next to my dresser.

I rotated slowly in the spot and froze, watching with horror the sight that greeted me.

Her flaming orange hair blew wildly in the drafty wind that flew in through the open window― her obvious entrance.

Her face held no other emotion apart from pure hate― and I thought I could see a faint trace of a smirk at what she knew was to happen.

Her eyes scanned my face as I stood there frozen, glued to the spot, unable to move even an inch from where I was.

Her gaze hypnotized me, pulling me under, making my head swirl. And yet, I couldn't even blink to clear up my vision. On the contrary, my eyes were wide open, taking in everything in front of me.

She took a step towards me and I rasped her name.

"Victoria!" The sound was pained, and barely audible. It sounded as though someone had scraped a claw down the inside of my throat, and I felt as though I'd taken a sledgehammer to the head.

In fact, these probably weren't too far off from the truth of what this true monster had planned for me.

"Ah, Bella!" She cried, darting forward another two steps. I remained where I was, startled by her voice.

Though she looked and prowled like a cat, her voice was no purr. It was high-pitched and girly, the voice you'd imagine for Barbie's little sister. Not at all like the wild woman standing before me now.

"Bella," she repeated, spreading her arms out towards me as if preparing to embrace an old friend she hadn't seen in a while. "I thought you'd _never_ turn around." Her smirk was condescending, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Oh, Bella!" she continued, most likely smelling the salt from the tears. "Have you been crying? What happened? Did you have a fight with _Edward_?" The way she said his name made me want to growl at her― but I restrained myself.

"Don't worry," the fire-headed female said to me, a smirk playing on her lips. "When I'm through with you, you won't be crying about Edward…. You'll be crying for a very different reason― _Pain_. In fact," she ran a hand through her untamed red coils, "you'll probably be _screaming _for Edward by then." She giggled, and I was sad to note that even her laugh sounded like a baby's coo.

She stalked forward once again, and this time, I had the sense to step back just as she did.

Unfortunately, I hadn't remembered that I had just laid my bag down in that very spot. My right foot caught on the strap and my left twisted behind me, bringing me down with a muffled 'thud!'

I stared up at Victoria with wide eyes and scrambled back on my hands, ignoring the painful thrumming from my previous injuries. I winced when my back hit the door behind me.

"Naughty, naughty, Bella," she mumbled, coming up and kneeling in front of my face. She cupped my neck with her right hand and stroked my cheek with the other. "Don't try to run away from me. I have a _fun_ night planned― you wouldn't want to ruin my fun now, would you?" She looked so innocent when she gazed at me like that, and I tried to turn away from her angelic expression. She used the hand that was still holding my cheek and forced my face to look back at her, hurting me slightly in the process.

I shut my eyes and I heard her 'tisk.'

"Open your eyes, Bella," she coerced me, and I was too afraid of her to not follow her directions.

"That's good girl now," she hummed, cocking her head slightly to the side.

Victoria raised her hand from my cheek for a brief moment, and I stopped breathing all together. She brought the tips of her fingers back to my skin and I noticed that her inch-long nails were painted blood red― they were also perfectly sharpened.

"When I'm through with you," she whispered, leaning over close to whisper directly into my left ear, "you are going to wish that you'd died that day with James." Her eyes flashed when she said his name, and she dragged her pointed nail across my face, from underneath my left eye to the bottom of my chin. I cringed from the pain, but bit my lip to keep back the shriek that I longed to sound.

She kneeled down closer to my body, resting her body on my legs, and I ignored the pain there, focusing on keeping the air flowing into and out of my lungs. I didn't want to scream and have any other students come check on me― I wasn't going to put anybody else's lives in danger.

Victoria pushed my head back with her hand that rested on my neck, and she laid her ear on my chest, listening to my pounding heart. I saw her lick her lips, and my breathing― along with my heartbeat― skipped a beat. She seemed to like this, and her face lit up with excitement.

"I'm going to make you _petrified_ all night! The beating of your heart will be so uneven, that it may even kill you." She pretended to contemplate something for a moment. "Let's hope that it doesn't kill you, though. Because that would be no fun at all. I want the joy of doing it myself."

In one fluid motion, she was up on her feet and had grabbed me up into her steel grip.

She flung me across the small space, and I landed in a crumpled heap in the aisle between the two beds.

"Oooh!" she exclaimed. "I like that sound! Let's see what other interesting noises I can get your body to make. Let's start with this, for one…."

She sprinted towards me and leapt into the air, bringing her feet together and coming down hard on my outstretched left arm. I heard severe cracking, and I let out a bloodcurdling scream. I clamped my other hand over my mouth immediately to stifle the screeching.

Victoria ripped my semi-good hand back from my lips, saying, "Oh, no! Don't do that, dear Bella. I just love hearing you scream."

And with that, she grabbed my head and yanked it forward, before knocking it back towards the metal bed frame with extreme brutality.

I could feel the hot blood trickle down the back and the side of my head. Victoria dipped lower, aligning her face with the path of the warm liquid. My breathing grew shallower as she began panting.

"_Control. Patience. Control_," she chanted to herself, standing back up.

She used the toe of her shoe to kick my forehead, sending me back into the bed frame once more.

The cry of this pain this time was more garbled, for this time, I had begun to lose consciousness.

_At least_, I thought to myself, _I got to see Edward and Alice and all the other Cullens one last time before I die._

With this last thought, I let my eyes begin to drift close as Victoria took one more swipe at my face. I barely felt the pain this time― my entire body was beginning to go numb.

As my eyelids finally fluttered close, I could hear Victoria laughing like a banshee.

The only warning I had was the cutting off of her hysteria.

And then I heard a terrible, horrifying roar echo from outside my door. The floorboards shook from the tremendous noise.

A tall, dark figure wrenched back the door and it flew against the wall with a bang, before swinging back instantly as the body jumped into the room.

All at once, Victoria ran and shot out the open window like a speeding bullet without so much as a second look back at me. I heard a string of profanities spew from her mouth as she flew off into the night.

I looked back at my savior, trying to force my eyes to open fully. I saw the figure whip its head back and forth between the window and my body― deciding whether to chase after Victoria or tend to me.

I wanted to tell this mysterious person to go― to run after that feral woman before she could get to anyone else, especially the Cullens. But I couldn't manage to find my voice, and my lips weren't even under my control. So I just settled for blinking… even that was getting kind of hard now.

"Bella!" the voice of an angel shone through my foggy haze, like rays of sunshine bursting through a heavy cloud cover.

I guess he decided to help me first, for before I knew it, he was kneeling beside me, gripping my face with his cool hands. They felt familiar, but I couldn't quite place them.

Who was this?

"_Bella._ My sweet, sweet Bella, what has she done to you?"

I was getting frustrated with myself now because I couldn't quite recognize my knight in shining armor.

I tried to open my eyes to finally get a glimpse of him― they must have closed before when I'd heard his voice― but my body wasn't listening to me.

"Bella?! Bella, love, please stay! Please stay with me Bella. Don't go." He was begging now, and his voice broke on the last two words. I wanted to answer him, to tell him that I'd stay with him forever, that I'd do anything for this unidentified familiar man. His very presence was soothing, and I could feel myself slipping deeper into a permanent stupor.

I heard the door slam open once more, and other semi-memorable voices filled the tiny room.

My eyes finally fell closed with obvious irrevocability as I felt more cool hands reach my body.

**Song for this chapter: **_Without You_** by **_Hinder_

**Wow! Kellan Lutz looks freakin' H-A-W-T in that music video!**

**Again, I can't give a sneak peak of the next chapter without giving the entire thing away. I hope you guys liked this chapter, and I'm sorry it took so long to get to you guys. My life's been pretty busy lately.**

**Please review!!!**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ughh! I'm sick right now, and I feel like total crap. So I'm sorry if this chapter is a direct reflection of my feelings. ): (But at least I got to miss school XP)**

**Thanks to **_Smileazf_** for being my beta bunny. Her birthday was 3 days ago, so show the pretty lady some love. XP (Think of this as a belated b-day gift, hon. :P)**

**Disclaimer: All this cool stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing it for some fun.**

**

* * *

**Bella's POV:

I felt a pounding in my head. I went to rub my temples, only to find that I couldn't move my arm. I couldn't even _feel _my arm. My body felt so utterly disconnected.

And then there was the beeping. Loud, incessant, and exasperatingly rhythmic. It was really starting to hurt my ears.

I groaned, and instantly there was a soft pressure on my cheek. A _cool_ pressure. Why did it feel so familiar?

My eyelids fluttered open slowly, and, for a moment, my eyesight was blurry. I blinked rapidly for a few seconds, trying to readjust my vision. When I could finally see without an indistinct film thwarting my perception, the whirring sound grew ever more thunderous and relentless.

The only thing my tired eyes could register was a bright, blinding light. Everything else was blocked out by the sheer, fierce illumination of the bulbs.

I whimpered slightly and tried to raise my head to hopefully smooth away the aching pain. As soon as I had lifted myself up― off of whatever I was on― by a few centimeters, I felt a gentle, yet confident, touch push me back down.

"Lie down, Bella." The voice was soft, yet commanding. This, too, was a faint remembrance in my mind. The delicate, tender velvet sound was laced with worry, and apparently, agony, too. I obeyed and gratefully lay back down, saving myself from the strain those mere centimeters had created on my body.

Once again, I struggled against my weak eyes, trying to gaze up and become acquainted― or, reacquainted, it seemed― with the angel with the beautiful, soothing, musical lilt.

"Are you sure she's fully coherent?" asked another soft voice― this one was slightly different, a little more rough, slower... but still impeccably smooth, and undeniably sexy. "I don't know; her smile looks a bit dopey. And I can barely get a read on her emotions… they're all over the place, Edward"

_Was_ I smiling? Well, it was entirely possible…. I just couldn't feel it. I could scarcely feel anything.

And that name! I was positively certain that I'd heard it before. _Edward.... Edward, Edward, Edward.... _**EDWARD!** Oh!

My eyes shot open as everything came flooding back into my brain, a violent rush― a torrential downpour― of information. _He came back!_ And that speech outside in the rain… even though I knew his words were false. My rebuttal; I identified his falsities….And then things started to get a bit fuzzy… driving towards my dorm in the rain, going up the steps, rifling through my bag for the key to my room… then darkness.

It my took my eyes a few more seconds to adjust, but, soon enough, I was staring up into the beautiful golden gaze of the man whose beauty put Adonis to shame. Edward.

"Bella," he breathed, stroking my cheek. Hmmm… why was he showing affection? That was odd, but I blew it off. It probably still had to do with his guilt. Stupid remorseful vampire….

"Edward." It came out as a croak, but he still smiled down at me.

"You gave us quite the scare." Carlisle came up and rested one hand on Edward's shoulder and placed the other on my leg, under the blankets and mounds of wires. I couldn't feel his touch, but I could see a huge lump under the layers of covers, a telltale sign of a cast. Great.

But that all brought around that one major question: Why was I here? What had happened after I had opened my door? Something, obviously, for that was exactly where my memories cut off.

I moaned once before beginning. "So, what's the prognosis, doctor? Starting with, what the hell happened?"

Alice came up then, anxiety and trouble evident in her eyes. She smiled for my sake, though it didn't quite reach her eyes; it was a sad smile, actually.

"What do you remember, Bella?" Her tinkling voice was a welcome recollection, and I grinned up at her weakly― I was beginning to get back feeling in my face, so the expressions were coming a bit easier.

"Well, I remember…" I hesitated, not exactly sure how much I should disclose. Should I tell them that I remembered our declarations from… when was it, anyway? Or should I feign memory loss on the whole situation?

I decided honesty would be the best policy.

"The last thing I can recall was right before I walked into my room. That's where everything goes blank. But I... um, I remember everything… _before_." The last word was barely a whisper, and recognition dawned in all of their eyes.

"Don't worry about all that right now, dear," Esme murmured, shooting a swift glance at Edward― I obviously wasn't meant to see it― as she came forward. "We just need you to focus on getting better now."

Which brought me back to my original question. Why was I even here in the first place?

I began my inquiry, but Carlisle cut me off as soon as I had opened my mouth to speak. It seemed Edward had some competition in the family when it came to reading minds. I tried to focus on the soothing patterns of Carlisle's voice, but the words were very disquieting.

"We know you are very confused Bella. As are we." That was weird. What would they have to be confused about? Hmmm, I wonder…. "But we have some of the answers you are searching for." Well, that was good to know, at least.

Edward grabbed my hand before Carlisle could continue. I was surprised by the fact that I had gained a bit of nerve function back in my hand; I could somewhat feel his thumb's calming circles as he rubbed them into my skin.

"Well," Carlisle began again slowly, obviously gauging my reaction to his words. "It seems that… Victoria is back…."

He let the words hang in the air for a few moments, permeating everything around me. I let them sink in.

I gasped, and I could almost swear that the bottom of my jaw hit the linoleum floor.

The first memories that came to the forefront of my mind were those original, initial ones― the baseball field with the Cullens, the subsequent results. Next came the multitude of times that she had just barely skirted Sam, Jake, and the rest of pack back in La Push. She always seemed to get away at the last minute, though….

I looked up at the faces around me, at seven pairs of topaz pools. I couldn't take their pity stares. I took a great toll on my protesting joints and once again attempted to sit up, this time with my vaguely responsive torso. This time, thankfully, Emmett leaned over and helped me to succeed in my task.

I turned to look at him, reflecting his grin right back at him. "Thanks, Em."

Then I looked around at each and every one of the faces in my room, lingering ever so slightly on Edward, as the realization hit me.

"Is it safe to assume that she is responsible for my being here?" I gestured feebly to what I had now recognized as a hospital bed, complete with steel rail sidings, in what must have been my room in said hospital. The beeping from earlier had been the monitors attached to various parts of my body.

Edward flinched at my words and squeezed my hand just a bit tighter before speaking. "Yes, Bella, she is the reason. She got to you… and I don't know how. If only I had arrived earlier. I could have stopped her! It's all my fault! Once again, you've been injured… all because of me. I should have just stayed away from you." Well _that_ definitely stung. "I should have _dealt with_ her earlier― I shouldn't have let her get away last time. I should have realized something like this was bound to happen―" He stopped short as his voice broke and a sob tore through his body. I was scared, to say the least. I had never seen Edward like this. He had never looked so vulnerable, so utterly… broken. _Just like the promises he made_, I thought bitterly.

I couldn't let it go on, though. I wasn't so callous. "Edward, stop." This time it was _I_ who was rubbing _his_ hand― his cold, dead palm― with my warm, pliable fingertips. "It was my fault, not your own. I'm a danger magnet. Always have been, always will be." I laughed weakly at my own words― though it sounded more like a grunt, what with the pain laced through it― trying to relieve the tense atmosphere. "It's a part of who I am, and you should never feel responsible for it. _Ever_. And, in the future, if anything should ever happen to me― which it undoubtedly, inevitably will― don't worry about it. It's bound to happen." I sighed and shifted my eyesight to the single paisley-curtained window across the room.

"Well, what do you suppose we do about her now?" Rosalie's acidic, astringent words were obviously directed at Carlisle, but she stared at the far wall, avoiding looking at anyone's face.

The words made me depressed, but I tried my best to hide my emotions― no use with Jasper; but I hoped, with our newfound…_truce_, of sorts, he wouldn't give me away… yet again― as I spoke up. "Well, I guess… you guys can leave now. I mean, I'm…._ fine_ here now." I dropped my gaze to the pale green blanket on top of me. "I don't need to be watched anymore. You guys can leave… go on."

Alice rushed forward, closer to my side. "She didn't mean _you_." I looked up at her pixie face, shocked by her words. "Silly Bella. She was talking about _Victoria_."

I was immediately confused. Wait just a minute there….

"But didn't you guys… _kill_ her, or off her, or… _whatever_?"

Carlisle and Alice exchanged a quick glance that certainly wasn't lost on me.

"What aren't you guys telling me?" I narrowed my eyes at them.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." I turned to look at Edward, whose eyes were pleading with me. Pleading for what? For forgiveness, or… what? "She just go away so quickly. I couldn't catch her. And I… I had to help you. I didn't want you to…." He trailed off quietly, but I knew what he had been waiting to say. _Die_. He hadn't wanted me to _die_. Hmmm… maybe this guilt thing ran deeper in him than I'd thought….

Speaking of which, how bad had she gotten me exactly? Obviously enough for him to stay with me instead.

"So, Carlisle, what's wrong with me? The breaks, the tears, what else?" I saw Edward wince at my casual tone.

"Well," began the real life McDreamy. "It seems as though you have three broken ribs." I groaned. Just freakin' _great_. Peachy keen. Carlisle smiled sympathetically at me before continuing. "In addition, you had to have a gash stitched up on your head, and the slice from earlier had to be fixed on your hand. And your left arm is broken, as well as your right leg." Wow, I was like a walking cast, it appeared. I bet I looked like some crazy, unfortunate version of the abominable snowman. Just my luck….

"And how long have I been here?" They all hesitated for a brief moment, so I knew the answer would be less than ideal.

It was Emmett who finally responded, though he threw me an apologetic look before he answered. "You've been in the hospital for ten days now, Bella."

"Ten days?" I whispered, severely dumbfounded.

"Yeah, Bella, sweetheart." Esme ran her fingers gently over my hair, before softly caressing my cheeks. "You were in a medically-induced coma."

"She got you pretty badly," Jasper said, grabbing a hold of Alice's tiny hand.

"So, like I said," Rosalie brought the attention back to her previous words. "What are we going to do about Victoria?"

"The only thing we can do," Emmett said, looking at his wife. "We find her. We fight."

Edward let go of my hand and turned around, walking closer to the covered windowpane.

"Ever the evasive one, that Victoria is." Jasper drawled the words softly, pulling Alice into his side in a protective embrace.

"Great," I murmured, more to myself than for the rest of them to hear. I should have known, though― had I really thought the _vampires_ wouldn't catch my whispered words? "Victoria's back again." I could feel the nearly tangible pause in the air as seven gazes turned towards me at the word '_again_'. "And this time, the werewolves aren't here to stop her."

My uncasted right hand― still connected to the restraining IV's― flew to my mouth, attempting futilely to cover up the words that I immediately regretted had spewed forth from my lips.

Edward whirled around immediately and flung his hands up in the air in a confused, yet extremely angry, expression. He snarled viciously.

"_WEREWOLVES_?!"

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**Song for this chapter: **_Hear You Me_** by **_Jimmy Eat World_

**Sorry about the delay (and the cliffhanger. :P). Real life got in the way. And believe me, I'd much rather be writing than dealing with all of that.**

**Much love and Jasper gropes,**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	13. Chapter 13

**You all have the right to beat me up. Viciously. SORRY sooo much for the M.I.A.-ness. I had midterms, and an attempted honors project, and then some drama at home, and I couldn't find any solid time to write. D:**

**Thanks **_Smileazf_** for being a great friend both in RL, and on the web. :P**

**Ownage: 5 million boxes of cinnamon toast crunch cereal; the attention span of a pet rock.**

**Non-Ownage: Twilight. Or Edward.**

**BPOV:**

"_WEREWOLVES_?!"

"Oh crap," I groaned softly, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. I felt like a little kid playing hide-and-seek. _If I can't see you, you can't see me._

"_Bella_." I flinched as my name sounded like an expletive in Edward's melodious voice.

I opened my eyes, and they were all staring at me expectantly._ Oh, what the heck. _What did I have to be afraid of? I was a legal adult, and I had absolutely reason to be scared of my vampire ex-boyfriend's reaction to whom I decided to spend my time with.

"Yes, Edward. _Werewolves_. And from what I gathered from them, you apparently knew all about their abilities of the Quileutes. And, also apparently, decided not to share the information with me. Plus, you left. By leaving and moving on with your own life, you gave up all input into _my_ life."

"But, Bella," he began. "I never _wanted _to leave. I already told you that I―"

"Save it!" I snapped, my tone surprising not only me, but all of the Cullens. I continued, regardless. "I'm a grown individual, Edward. I can be around whomever I'd like. I can make decisions on my own, thank you very much."

He started at my words, walking over closer to my bed. "No, Bella. Don't pull this. Do you _know_ how dangerous werewolves can be?!"

"Yeah," was my response. "Just about as dangerous as a psychotic, vengeful vampire hell-bent on settling the score for her dead mate."

He looked taken aback, stricken even, at my outburst, and I felt a bit guilty for actually kind of enjoying his distress at the words.

He picked his hand up and made to touch my cheek, but, at the last possible second, dismissed the thought and lowered his palm, along with his gaze. He sighed, resigned.

"Bella, I'm _so_ very sorry. If I had known, I would have been back here in a heartbeat." He chuckled darkly at his unintentional pun before resettling his solemn expression and continuing. "I wish I could go back in time and change… _everything_."

This time, his hand didn't retreat when it reached for my face, instead stroking from my temple down to chin, resting his thumb on my lips. I couldn't help but relax into his touch, leaning my head into his silken-ice fingers and closing my eyes.

"It's not your fault, Edward."

He opened his mouth to respond, but Alice cut him off.

"It's in the past. And, right now, we have to focus on the future. Specifically, Victoria. And what we're going to do to put a stop to her… permanently"

Edward and I nodded in unison at her truthful words, and he lowered his hand. I hated the fact that I missed his touch when it left my skin.

"Tell us, Bella," Carlisle spoke. "What exactly were your interactions with Victoria during our absence?"

"Well," I began. "It all started about six moths after you guys had left." I tried to detach myself from the words, tried to make my explanation clinical, rather than personal. The recently reopened wounds still stung, and I didn't know if I would ever be able to talk about them leaving without getting all emotional. I just worried how I'd deal with their departure when they left this time around. I steeled my resolve and my expression before I went on.

"Anyway." I shook my head quickly and let out a quick breath. "She just started showing up, trying to get into Forks. The guys at La Push―" I pretended to not notice Edward's scowl and purposely ignored Rosalie's grimace― "were capable of fending her off, but were never quite able to kill her. She always managed to dodge them in the end. It was quite frustrating, to say the least. And then, about four month ago, she just stopped showing up. We just assumed she had given up."

"You _assumed_ a deadly vampire would just give up and leave?" Edward sneered. "And _none_ of the _dogs_ thought to accompany you to school to protect you?"

"The _guys_―" I purposely stressed the word― "have lives of their own. Lives that don't include _babysitting_ me, Edward!"

He registered the livid expression on my face and softened his in turn.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to suggest that you were a selfless child. But, seriously, you are no match for Victoria. She's ruthless; she'll stop at absolutely nothing to ensure your death!" He winced at the word 'death,' but otherwise remained still.

I nodded and swallowed, trying to keep the fear out of my features. Because, truthfully, I was utterly _terrified_ of Victoria. Not for my sake. For the sake of the ones I loved, who were in danger because of their association with me. The werewolves, the Cullens, Charlie, Renee….

If anything happened to them, I would be devastated. I would be at fault for their demise.

Emmett spoke up just then. "We build a small army."

I was taken aback; I had almost forgotten that our previous conversation path had been to devise a plan of dealing with Victoria.

"Why 'army'? I asked. "She's just one person." Though I wasn't positive the word 'person' could be applied to that monster.

Rosalie continued to glare at the wall as she talked. "Because she's bound to have backup. She's not stupid enough to face us alone. She's crazy, but she's not suicidal."

"Thirteen."

We all looked at Edward then, puzzled by his single word.

"Thirteen," he repeated. "She has a backing of thirteen vampires."

"How do you know?" Alice and Esme spoke the words at the exact same moment.

"It was in her thoughts earlier. She thought the word 'thirteen' repeatedly, and I saw some faces flash by. I didn't understand it up until now. But it _must_ mean that she has thirteen followers. What else?"

Carlisle turned to look at Edward. "Are they newborns, or older vampires?"

"I'm not certain."

"The answer is obvious!" Emmett exclaimed, like there was no question in our decision. "Like I said before, we'll gather a small force of our own. They say the best defense is a good offense."

"And who do you suppose we include in this _force_?" Jasper asked, looking rightly skeptical of the proposal.

"Well, we have friends, of course. The Denali's, for one―"

"No!" Esme cut him off. "We can't ask Tanya's family to risk their lives for us."

"We'll let them know they don't need to help us. It's their choice."

"I don't know about that, Emmett," Jasper responded. "It doesn't seem fair."

"Is it fair that an evil fiend is after our Bella?"

"The dogs!" Edward suddenly proclaimed. "They'll surely aid us if Bella is involved."

I caught up with his train of thought, and immediately I started choking on the air; my heart rate spiked drastically on the EKG.

Carlisle began patting my back, trying to alleviate me.

When I was finally able to speak again, my voice was bitter and severe.

"You will _not _involve Jacob and his friends in this."

"Bella, your life is at risk. I can't lose you…. Not again." Edward's face looked desolate, and I didn't even register that my fingers had moved of their own accord to rest on the back of his hand. He may not have still been in love with me, but that didn't mean I couldn't show him some affection.

"Edward, we'll figure this out. But Jacob and the other guys are not going to be a part of this. I've already put them in Victoria's path for the last two years. I can't do it any longer."

He just sighed, nodded vaguely, and pulled out of my grasp, getting up and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, sounding pathetic. As usual.

Alice looked over at him with wide eyes for a tiny second, before quickly looking away. I didn't think she knew I had noticed.

"For a walk. I need to clear my head."

**Songs for this chapter: **_Stolen_** by **_Dashboard Confessional_

_ Time After Time _**by**_ Quietdrive_

**Don't worry, their battle with Victoria and her legion won't be like the one in the book. It might have a few little aspects, but it won't be very similar to the book's battle.**

**Again, super-duper apologies for this gargantuan wait. Another chapter will be out soon, and, trust me, you'll like it :D I've waited a long time to write the events of the next chapter, and the idea for it came to me in a dream. Woah, little mini SM moment :P**

**Please review!**

**Much love and Carlisle smiles,**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


	14. Chapter 14

**Please read the A/N at the bottom.**

I spent two more days in the hospital after I had finally woken up. The Cullens had stayed in the hospital, as well, but they weren't always all in the room with me. I hated to admit it, but I liked it better that way― I felt pathetic enough all bandaged up; there was no need for them to bear witness to how lame I really was. I could barely even get up by myself to go to the restroom.

When Carlisle had told me I was allowed to go home, I was so excited that I almost burst out of my plaster cast. The entire Cullen Clan had had a good chuckle over my enthusiasm. I couldn't contain my anticipation as I jumped up and down in the patient-release wheelchair. At home I was going to have to use specialized crutches, which I knew were only a recipe for disaster with my luck.

Carlisle had driven me home, with Alice bouncing and Edward brooding in the backseat. I just sat with my head facing the window, contemplating the past few days as I stared unseeingly at the passing landscape. All I could think about were Edward's words in the rain that night; the conversation flew over and over again threw my mind. He had seemed sincere― and had remained the longest in my hospital room during my unfortunate stay there― but, for some reason, I still couldn't believe his words of apology. It had _never_ made sense for such perfection as him to have loved me, so after the seed of doubt had been planted within me, it had sprouted to full on disbelief.

Although the car ride had passed in silence, my inside turmoil was anything but hushed. I considered all my options― forgiveness and romantic reconciliation; ignoring him until the Victoria issue was resolved and them continuing on with my life; or including Edward and the Cullens in my life as merely friends. The first seemed highly unlikely, but the second was too painful for me to contemplate; my chest throbbed with ache at the thought itself. So, I guessed I might as well try the final alternative: becoming friends with Edward again.

_Friends_. Could I manage that with him? I was sorely tempted to turn around and gaze upon his beautiful, flawless face, but resisted it. He didn't need to see how pitiable I was. I supposed for the sake of retaining him in my life, friends would have to do. Sure, I would die a bit on the inside each day when I saw him but couldn't _have _him, but at least I'd be able to watch him from afar.

What would happen when he found love again in front of my very own eyes? Could I handle that? Probably not. But could I fake it and _pretend_ that I accepted it? Probably.

God! What had I ever done to have deserved such a fate?! How cruel must I have been in a prior life to have had heaven handed to me and then snatched away so soon after? Surely some heinous crime must have been committed by me to have so horrible a hand thrust upon me. Or maybe it was just the opposite. Perhaps one was only allotted a certain amount of bliss, and my euphoria had been much too much. I had used it all up so quick and fast, and it _had_ to have been ripped from me like it had been. That made more sense to my messed-up psyche.

When we had arrived at last, I was surprised that we did not pull up to my familiar dorm building. Rather, we pulled up to the Cullen's home. Emmett's jeep, which he, Rose, Esme, and Jasper had driven home in, was parked next to us in the massive driveway. I turned around in my seat for the first time and shot a puzzled look at Carlisle.

"Welcome home," he had mumbled, taking the key out of the ignition. My brow furrowed in confusion and he sighed. "Bella, we think it more… appropriate… if you stay with us for a while; at least one of us will be able to watch you at all times―" I glared and opened my mouth to protest, but he laid a placating hand on the shoulder of my good arm and continued calmly― "With Victoria running around right now, your safety is the number one priority. None of us can very well stay in your dorm with you and your room mate to keep watch, so this is most convenient. One of us will be able to keep you safe at all times. We already spoke to your room mate and told her you'd be staying somewhere else for a bit."

I couldn't argue with that logic, but I certainly didn't have to be happy about it. Alice kept up her grin and Edward remained stoic as Carlisle opened his door. I had just sat there and waited for aid in getting out.

"Wait!" I called before he could stand up. Carlisle looked over at me and nodded.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Well, um… how long do you think… I'm going to… have to stay here? I mean, I don't want to be a burden or anything…." I trailed off and looked down sheepishly at my lap. Carlisle reached out and ran his fingers soothingly over my head.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. We are the ones who initially put in you in danger, so we will be the ones to― by any means necessary― keep you out of it."

I grimaced. I didn't want to be their useless charity case. But what _could _I do? They obviously weren't going to take no for an answer.

I had nodded once, trying to preserve my dignity.

Carlisle had continued getting out of the car, and, as I pulled the door handle to open my door, started to walk around to help me out. Before he could make it over, however, Edward, who had sat behind me quietly the entire trip, dashed out of the car and stood before me. _Always the perfect gentleman._ He had helped me out of the car and up the stairs to the spacious house. His touch sent thrills throughout my whole body. The entire family had greeted me inside, while I just stood there and smiled nervously.

Alice had brought me upstairs and showed me the guest room that I'd be staying in. It was very pretty, with sparse furnishings. Alice had assured me― to my utter chagrin― that she'd "fix it up" soon. _Great_; we had gone from playing with Bella Barbie to playing with Bella Barbie's Malibu Dream Room. Just what I needed.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

It had been a week since the day I had gotten to the Cullen's home. Carlisle and I had gone down to the college the first day and had explained that I had been in an accident. Unfortunately, with the time I had missed in the hospital― and the time I would surely miss with all the upcoming chaos― I had to take this semester off. My dorm and classes would still be available to me next semester, but it still didn't make me any happier. Edward would also resume his post as TA next semester. That made me feel a bit better about the whole situation.

On the first three nights, Alice had stayed upstairs in the room with me. Needless to say, when Alice had been here, I'd gotten very little sleep. She was entirely convinced that sleepovers in reality were much like those in chick flicks. _Wrong_. But she was simply incorrigible, so I couldn't stop her. She had braided my hair, painted my finger nails and toe nails, given me a facial (I couldn't really complain about that one; it had felt superb), and had made me watch girlie movies with the 'whole experience'― dimmed lights, sleeping bags (mine was on the bed, hers on the floor, even though I insisted it was unnecessary because she couldn't sleep), and about ten tons of buttered popcorn. I could just feel the blood clot coming on.

Tonight, however, the Cullens had to go hunt. Edward was staying behind with me, because apparently I was no longer capable of looking after myself. _Humph_. I had warned him as soon as the others had left that there was to be absolutely _no_ watching me sleep. He had nodded his assent solemnly.

Now, I was getting ready to go to sleep, pulling on a pair of tattered sweatpants and a t-shirt that Alice had picked up for me at my dorm. I couldn't exactly navigate those stairs by myself, so I had sent her to bring me some clothes and toiletries. I mean, so far, I had tripped seven times with these crutches― today alone!

I hobbled over to the king-sized bed and laid my crutches against the nightstand before climbing onto the mattress. I snuggled underneath the hunter green covers and rested my head against the down pillow, sighing before drifting off into slumber.

My dream was simple, just a swirl of pastel colors and shapes, moving together in harmony. I floated between the colored spaces, drifting in and out of bright patterns. Every time I reached out to grasp something around me, though, it would slip through my fingers and dance away.

All of a sudden, a tune began to play, its familiar melody gliding through the soft air. The whirls and twirls of color gracefully spun along to the notes, perfectly matching the cadence. The rhythm suddenly grew in volume and force, and the notes dashed out faster and harsher. Then… SLAM!

I woke with a start, breathing heavily, but quickly recovered when I noticed where I was. Again, I heard the pounding beat, and immediately recognized where it came from. It was the sound of piano keys, forced down by forlorn, tortured fingers.

As soon as it started, it stopped, and once again turned gentle. The lull of my lullaby greeted me once again, and before I realized what was happening, I slipped quietly from the bed, soundlessly picking up my crutches.

I hadn't heard this song in _so_ long― way too long― and the tears fell relentlessly down my face, dripping onto my hole-ridden white shirt. I walked mutely― or mute to _my _ears anyway― out my door and down the hall, determined to figure out the culprit of this heart wrenching rendition of my lullaby. It wasn't _exactly _the same― too dark, too dismal― but it was unmistakably _mine_. Or, at least it had been, long ago, in a much happier life.

Miraculously, I somehow made it down the stairs without harm to myself, and without much noise. Whoever was playing either didn't notice my approach, or didn't bother acknowledging it.

As I rounded the corner into the living room, I was met with the saddest sight I had ever laid my eyes on.

Edward sat before the piano, his gorgeous body limp upon the bench. His shoulders were hunched, and, although I couldn't see his face from the back, I knew it would be pained. He continued to drown in the music as his fingers stroked again and again over the pearly keys of his beloved instrument.

And as he played, he whispered one lone word.

"_Bella_."

My eyes grew wide and the tears fell heavier and more rapidly, blurring my world until the only thing that existed in my vision was his sad form, draped over the piano.

My heart broke over and over again as I watched the scene play out.

I realized then that he didn't know of my presence― surely he would have said something by now. And when he had spoken my name, it wasn't in recognition of my being there; it was in a broken lilt of want. He was so caught up in the music and in the moment that he wasn't even aware that I was in the room, now walking closer and closer as I cried.

When I was directly behind him, I dropped my crutches and laid my hands upon his shoulders, using him for support. Suddenly, he spun around, noticing me for the first time. I stumbled, and he caught me around the waist before I could fall. He stood up in an instant, keeping his hands on me. That was a good thing; I didn't know if I'd survive if he wasn't touching me right now.

"Bella, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed, closing his eyes. "I didn't realize you were here."

My breathing was coming quick, as was his. "Edward, no," I murmured, "I am the one who is sorry. Seeing this, hearing you play that song, I figured it out."

He opened his eyes hesitantly, and I stared into his ocher gaze. "Figured what out?" he prompted.

I didn't bother responding with words. Instead, I reached my arms up and fastened them around his neck, pulling his face down to meet mine.

I met him halfway, and as my lips connected with perfection, I felt the ruptured hole in my heart fill at once. It didn't heal and scar… it merely disappeared.

**Songs for this chapter: **_The Man who Can't be Moved _**by **_The Script_

_Dream _**by **_Priscilla Ahn_

**Obviously, things are not automatically going to get better. The next chapter will pick up right where I left off. I was going to make this longer, but my evil grandparents are bringing me to their house in a few minutes. Sorry. ):**

**Tomorrow, I am leaving to go to sleep away camp. I will be gone until July 24****th****, but I hope to get another chapter out within a day or two of my homecoming. Oh, and by the time I return, I'll officially be 15 years old! Woot!**

**Please review! I'd love to come home a month from now to a bunch of reviews from you lovely people. :D**

**Xoxo,**

**Michelle (:**


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